Saturday, December 19, 2020

Bah, Humbug. And I Don't Even Mean My Usual Seasonal Disposition.

Well, it's that time of year again.  It's too cold, and there are inescapable reminders of, you know, "the holidays."  I did mention bah, humbug, didn't I?

Among other things, many of our neighbors have those...decorations.  Lights, fake...um...evergreen trees, fake deer, blow-up dolls of Santa Claus and other characters, and creches.  I'm really not going to get any further into this, in part because it's not the point I want to make.  Although I will point out that according to Wikipedia, reindeer are caribou.  Not those delicate species we usually envision.  Wikipedia also, in its discussion about deer, says that "deer hunting has been a popular activity since at least the Middle Ages, and remains a resource for many families today."  A resource for which families?  Not the families of deer.  Deer hunting hasn't been very popular with them.

The fact is that we're sometimes a fun little burg.  We're practically famous for our Hallowe'en do.  Loads of people -- families, kids, older kids -- come here for that.  But we also have a little ritual for our...winter..."holidays."  We actually have two rituals.  One is to give Tony and Maryann Duva the yearly prize for the best holiday yard decorations.  It's almost a little monotonous, and frankly, I'm rooting for the couple -- Karen and Steve -- on 10th Avenue and about 116th St this year.  Unless the Hornbuckles step it up just a hair more, and topple the Duvas.  Or the couple who moved into the house on 10th Avenue and 117th St.  Not this year, but I can see potential.  But that's not really what I want to address, either.

I want to talk about our other ritual.  It doesn't last long, and it's silly, and it's way too much commotion for nothing, but people like it.  There's this caravan of cars, you see, and at a prearranged time on a prearranged weekend day, they make their way through the Village, as if they were going somewhere.  Which they're not.  There are police cars, with sirens shrieking.  There are cars with Commissioners.  And there's the special car with "Santa Claus."  I think everyone knows who always dresses as Santa Claus, but for some reason, I have this weird feeling that I'm not supposed to say.  Well, it's one of our neighbors.  And he's the perfect person to dress as Santa Claus.  He doesn't particularly look like the common image of Santa Claus, and he grew up Orthodox Jewish.  It couldn't get any better than that, could it?  He's very important to the Village, and for a time, he was sort of central to its functioning.  Everyone likes him, a lot.

So, there's this caravan.  Cops, Commissioners, and our fake Santa.  And everyone knows in advance at what time of what day this is going to happen.  Signs are posted along "Santa's" route.  It's as chintzy and goofy as you can imagine.  It's practically embarrassing.  And eagerly awaited, by small kids and big ones.  Do you want to know what happens when we have the coronavirus essentially raging, and a Commission majority that doesn't care about anything, and a brand new manager who doesn't know how we do things, and what's important to us?  Nothing.  "Santa" has been waiting for the call, and it hasn't come.  He's even reached out, and gotten no response, other than someone or other is still thinking about it, and will make some decision maybe on next Tuesday or Wednesday.

Whatever we could have, we don't have it.  No decorations, no fanfare, nothing.  I myself find these...seasonal...displays practically nauseating, and even I'm disappointed.  And it's been pointed out to me that neighboring municipalities have risen to the occasion.  Only we haven't.

It's next f'ing week!  No?  Nobody could put together anything?  Happy F'ing "Holidays."


6 comments:

  1. Nice to see you are your cheerful self.

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  2. First off, Mr. Village Scrooge, I don't know what the f you mean by "fake Santa." Not sure which "f" is more offensive. That merry old elf has magical powers to be lots of places at the same time, including at our Winterfest. It's called "believing."

    Santa specifically requested that we cancel Winterfest this year to keep everyone safe. I don't question him ... and I'm not allowed to direct him, either. That's an ethical violation that would land me in deep doo-doo with the lunatic fringe that "watches" over the village commission. (Ask me privately about the candidate who charged me with Ethics violations in November that made no sense and were summarily dismissed ... and another resident who lost her shit again via email to Code/Police about my conspiracy to gay up BP on my campaign signs. The fringe keeps folks employed (attorneys, staff) while failing at their destructive goals. I asked Trump to grant them pardons this year so Santa doesn't put coal in their stockings. I figure if Michael Flynn can get one ....)

    Mario, our new manager, let residents know about Winterfest through his new Nextdoor account, which is part of what I hope becomes a more comprehensive communications plan in 2021. I have had several conversations about why/how/when. Mario's had his hands full in his three weeks, but he did introduce himself and make sure folks knew about Winterfest. I emailed "Santa & Mrs. Claus" to make sure they're aware, too.

    Regarding making the village festive over the holidays, we are holding a decorating contest for residents, and today's the deadline. Scrooge and everyone, if you haven't already nominated neighbors in the three categories, it's as easy as an email from your phone. Details at the link below. Please participate today as part of our community-building efforts!

    https://www.biscayneparkfl.gov/vertical/sites/%7BD1E17BCD-1E01-4F7D-84CD-7CACF5F8DDEE%7D/uploads/Item_13.b_-_Holiday_decoration_awards_-_by_Vice-Mayor_Kennedy.pdf

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    Replies
    1. Dear Ms Polly Anna,

      Apparently, your parents fell down on the job, and there was something they didn't get around to telling you. Far be it from me to rain on that parade.

      A sentence that begins with "Santa specifically requested..." is about worthy of finishing as a sentence that begins with "Donald Trump said..."

      Perhaps this is as good a time as any for me to express for the first time my reactions regarding our new manager. He seems very smart. He's energetic, and he seems to have loads of relevant and valuable perspective. But this is BP. It isn't CMB or Miami. Or NYC. When our local "Santa" wants to know what the plan is, the one and only correct answer is "whatever you want it to be." It is not "I'm really busy now, and I might or might not get back to you in a week or so." Mario's hands cannot have been so full, 24/7, that he could not have responded to a treasured and long time Village resident who was a revered mayor for a decade. I can't do emojis in blog comments, but if I could, I would feature a thumbs down.

      As for the yearly (and long before your time) Winterfest competition, if you want to make the Village more festive, you'll pass an Ordinance outlawing all the stuff you're about to celebrate.

      Scrooge

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  3. PS The log cabin is decked out with lights.

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