It's True. (Unless It Displeases You, In Which Case It's a Ridiculous and Completely False Rumor.)

Two weeks ago, I was in Massachusetts to see my daughter and son-in-law, whom I didn't really need to see, and my delicious grandchildren, whom I very much needed to see.  (My daughter set me up with a self-test/swab kit, I waited five days to test/swab myself, and two days later, I got the good news: negative.  It was all very creepy, especially the jetBlue flight that was 85% capacity coming home, and the "Trump" red baseball cap-wearing guy in my row.  Not only was he a Trump supporter, but he still is, and he wants everyone else to know about it?  No faint and lingering sense of embarrassment, right?)

Anyway, I cheated a little.  My daughter wanted me to accompany her to the phenomenon that some Massachusetts residents call the town "dump," so I left the house with her.  The Commonwealth wanted me to quarantine for two weeks.  If you don't know my daughter, then you don't know that the answer is always yes.  Or at least OK.

It was some time after that that I backed myself into an unwelcome conversation about recycling.  I simply asked my daughter -- it seemed like a simple and innocent question; you know, just an intellectual inquiry -- if she was aware of the claim that recycling doesn't really happen in this country, and that we're sort of collectively kidding ourselves by separating our refuse into "garbage," that will go into landfills, and "recycling," that will be processed, and made into something else.  My daughter was very clear on this point: she doesn't want to know about it, and she'd rather keep having something like confidence in the broad American solid waste arrangement.  Or seduction.  Or scam.  Or whatever it is.

But there really is such a claim, or rumor, and I decided to see if I could find out the, I don't know, truth(?) of the matter.

Since I was sort of perhaps selfishly most interested in us, for the moment, I reached out to WastePro.  I told the receptionist what I wanted to know, and she immediately reassured me that what we designate for recycling is absolutely in fact recycled.  Her proof of this was that WastePro takes our recyclables to a recycling receiving operation.  I didn't bother to interrogate her further as to what this operation does with what's taken there, since she clearly wouldn't know, but I did ask for the phone number of this company.  She didn't know.  How about the name of it?  She didn't know that, either.  Dade or Broward?  They have them in both counties.  But she didn't know the name or the phone number, right?  Right.

I looked up Waste Management, which is a massive solid waste handler in this country.  It's based in Dallas.  There's a phone number for them, but no one answers.

Wellesley, Massachusetts, has an extensive program, like Medfield, where my daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren live, does.  So I called Wellesley.  I have to call back tomorrow, because the guy who might know isn't there today.  I called Medfield, too, and I left a message with the town administrator.  (I suspect that's the same position as what we call the manager.)  I said what I wanted to know, and asked for a call back.  I might get one, or I might not.

It occurred to me there is another way to try to figure this out.  I "googled" "does solid waste get recycled in the US now?"  The short answer is no.  The longer explanation is here: https://blogs.ei.columbia.edu/2020/03/13/fix-recycling-america/

So I will, in fact, call Wellesley back tomorrow.  And I'll wait to see if I hear from Medfield today.  They'll tell me whatever they want to tell me, or whatever they think I want to hear, sort of like the WastePro receptionist did.

But I really think the fact is that we have separate solid waste receptacles, and we divide our refuse into what we think is "garbage" and what we think will be recycled, but we're kidding ourselves.  My daughter doesn't care if she's kidding herself.  She just feels better to believe that stuff gets recycled, and that products that say they're made from recycled fibers and materials really are.

Maybe there's no great harm done.  It's not that much work to segregate garbage into that that's aimed for a landfill, and that that's going to be processed, and come back as something else.  Although one reason a lot of stuff isn't recycled is that it's contaminated, like by food residue.  And it's a certain amount of work, and takes a certain amount of water, to remove that food residue.  And that's for containers which would in theory be recycled anyway, which many wouldn't, even if they were clean.  (Read the linked article.)

I remember when we started with WastePro, and they told us to clean what we wanted recycled, and don't include lids.  Lids are small, and they clog the separation machinery.  It seemed that simple.  Did we dutifully clean various containers, and throw the lids in the landfill garbage?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  But it now turns out it doesn't matter.  It's all going to be dumped in landfills, or burned, anyway.  Oh, well.

What Were We Talking About? Oh, Yeah, the Water Bill.

On Saturday, I got a piece of mail from CNM.  They're raising the water/sewage-related fees.

They're raising the water fee by 4%.  Yeah, that's fine.  It's very cheap anyway.  They're also raising the sewage fee by 4%.  Watch your bill for this.  A small proportion of BP residents and homeowners in the northeast corner of the Village are on CNM sewage pipes.  The rest of us, which is by far most of us, have septic tanks.  If you're not on CNM sewage, make sure they don't raise your whole usage bill by 4%.  It's still the same small amount, but you should on principle permit an increase of only 2% of your usage, if you have a septic tank.  Which almost all of us do.

Of course, CNM might say that water and sewage are not 50/50, and that the fee for water is really 95% of the charge, and the fee for sewage is only 5% of the charge.  But I think they'd have to prove that.  I, for one, would feel a lot better having John Hearn or John Herin in the lawyer's chair.  Ed Dion has not impressed me, yet.  If he does, that will be great.

I'm not sure how to understand the other part of the increase.  CNM is increasing "stormwater charges" by 15%.  I have no idea what "stormwater charges" are, or what CNM does to mitigate (I assume that's the intended meaning of this term) stormwater.  We have significant and worsening stormwater (is that like drainage?) problems, and CNM does nothing to help us.

Of course, this may circle back around to things like definitions and obligations, both of which would be in the contract no one can find.

Is it a bad pun if I say it seems we're out to sea without a paddle?

Anyway, watch for this increase.  It will be part of your next quarterly bill, and it takes effect on February 1, 2021.

Bah, Humbug. And I Don't Even Mean My Usual Seasonal Disposition.

Well, it's that time of year again.  It's too cold, and there are inescapable reminders of, you know, "the holidays."  I did mention bah, humbug, didn't I?

Among other things, many of our neighbors have those...decorations.  Lights, fake...um...evergreen trees, fake deer, blow-up dolls of Santa Claus and other characters, and creches.  I'm really not going to get any further into this, in part because it's not the point I want to make.  Although I will point out that according to Wikipedia, reindeer are caribou.  Not those delicate species we usually envision.  Wikipedia also, in its discussion about deer, says that "deer hunting has been a popular activity since at least the Middle Ages, and remains a resource for many families today."  A resource for which families?  Not the families of deer.  Deer hunting hasn't been very popular with them.

The fact is that we're sometimes a fun little burg.  We're practically famous for our Hallowe'en do.  Loads of people -- families, kids, older kids -- come here for that.  But we also have a little ritual for our...winter..."holidays."  We actually have two rituals.  One is to give Tony and Maryann Duva the yearly prize for the best holiday yard decorations.  It's almost a little monotonous, and frankly, I'm rooting for the couple -- Karen and Steve -- on 10th Avenue and about 116th St this year.  Unless the Hornbuckles step it up just a hair more, and topple the Duvas.  Or the couple who moved into the house on 10th Avenue and 117th St.  Not this year, but I can see potential.  But that's not really what I want to address, either.

I want to talk about our other ritual.  It doesn't last long, and it's silly, and it's way too much commotion for nothing, but people like it.  There's this caravan of cars, you see, and at a prearranged time on a prearranged weekend day, they make their way through the Village, as if they were going somewhere.  Which they're not.  There are police cars, with sirens shrieking.  There are cars with Commissioners.  And there's the special car with "Santa Claus."  I think everyone knows who always dresses as Santa Claus, but for some reason, I have this weird feeling that I'm not supposed to say.  Well, it's one of our neighbors.  And he's the perfect person to dress as Santa Claus.  He doesn't particularly look like the common image of Santa Claus, and he grew up Orthodox Jewish.  It couldn't get any better than that, could it?  He's very important to the Village, and for a time, he was sort of central to its functioning.  Everyone likes him, a lot.

So, there's this caravan.  Cops, Commissioners, and our fake Santa.  And everyone knows in advance at what time of what day this is going to happen.  Signs are posted along "Santa's" route.  It's as chintzy and goofy as you can imagine.  It's practically embarrassing.  And eagerly awaited, by small kids and big ones.  Do you want to know what happens when we have the coronavirus essentially raging, and a Commission majority that doesn't care about anything, and a brand new manager who doesn't know how we do things, and what's important to us?  Nothing.  "Santa" has been waiting for the call, and it hasn't come.  He's even reached out, and gotten no response, other than someone or other is still thinking about it, and will make some decision maybe on next Tuesday or Wednesday.

Whatever we could have, we don't have it.  No decorations, no fanfare, nothing.  I myself find these...seasonal...displays practically nauseating, and even I'm disappointed.  And it's been pointed out to me that neighboring municipalities have risen to the occasion.  Only we haven't.

It's next f'ing week!  No?  Nobody could put together anything?  Happy F'ing "Holidays."

Yikes! Now THAT'S An Electric Bill!

So, to back up first, I got my solar panels in the last week of my August, 2019, billing period.  My bill that month was somewhat lower than my bill from August, 2018.  The September, 2019, bill was more notably lower than the September, 2018, bill.  And those reductions continued until about the end of 2019 or the beginning of this year.  At that point, I hit what I believed was the lowest possible base rate of $9.99.  I tried to contact FPL to be sure, but they make themselves seemingly impossible to contact.  So I figured that $9.99 was the least they charge, and they would charge that if I didn't use any electricity at all.

My FPL bill stayed at $9.99 for a couple months, and it was a bit mysterious when my bills then increased to $10.05.  I didn't care, because it was only six cents a month higher, but it was peculiar.  I figured that they increased the base rate.  And that charge stayed like that for the rest of 2020.  Even during the summer.  I paid $10.05 every month, regardless of whether it was winter, etc, and I had the windows open, or summer, and I ran the AC all day, every day.  $10.05 every month.  Until today.

I just got my bill notification by e-mail.  My deal with FPL is that they help themselves to whatever they think I owe them, and take it from my bank account.  They just send me an e-mail telling me what the "damage" was.  Today's notification was that the net flow of electricity involving my house was that I sent 186 kWh to the grid.  Over the course of the past month, my solar panels produced more electricity than my house used.

I don't know what happened to what I assumed was a minimum charge per month, but they didn't charge me this past month.  They credited me, $7.15.  You know, "-$7.15."  That was my "bill."  I don't imagine they'll put $7.15 in my bank account.  I'm guessing they'll just keep the credit on record, and charge me less once they start charging me at all.  Which I suppose won't be any time soon, since "winter" is here (as of two days from now), and I'll continue to be a very low user of electric power.  Although even when it was summer, I never used more than what I apparently wrongly assumed was the lowest amount for which they bill.

I still don't understand the system, and there doesn't seem to be anyone I can ask.  But I'm going to get my money back on those solar panels a lot sooner than I thought I would.

Setting aside my strong encouragement that any of my neighbors who can do it get solar panels, I will also say yet again that it would help the Village greatly to put panels on the recreation building and the administration building.  Not only might we be able to run those buildings for free, electric bill-wise, but if we produce more electric power than we use, which it appears is what I'm doing, we can share it.  The easy way to share it is to wire it over to the public works building, and maybe the log cabin (which we don't use much, the way we used to.  What's more complicated is sharing it with ourselves as Village residents and homeowners.  Our Franchise Agreement with FPL says the Village can't produce electricity to sell, thereby competing with FPL.  But we can give it away.  Maybe there's a mechanism to wire it to some of ourselves.  Or maybe if the Village accomplishes what I just accomplished, we can use the savings to do other projects (the ones we don't do now, because we can't afford to).  It would be a shame to use it to lower our taxes, because we wouldn't lower them perceptibly much, and we would still be unable to afford to do what we can't afford to do now.

Quite an adventure with my FPL bill this morning.

Maybe I Should Bathe More Often.

I got my water bill this week.  It's typical of all my water bills.  

I do bathe.  I drink water, too.  And use it for cooking.  And washing my clothes.  And dishes.  And of course, there's that other bathroom fixture.  I don't use sprinklers, but BPers who do usually get irrigation water from a well, which is dug only for that purpose.  I'm happy to report I don't have any leaks.

According to CNM, who provides our water, and bills us for it, I used four units, which is 4000 gallons, this past quarter.  However they decide how much water should cost, my charge for residential consumption was $7.56.  That seems to me very little to pay for however much water I used, which was as much as I wanted to use, in three months.  But my bill wasn't for $7.56.  It wasn't even close to that.

The big additional fee was from CNM, and it was what they call a "base charge" for their having supplied 3/4" pipes.  Unfortunately, they don't seem to think they have a meaningful responsibility to maintain those pipes.  They just supplied them, however many decades ago that was.  And they charge $37.53 per quarter for the fact that those pipes are here.  That's almost exactly five times the amount they charged me for the water.

The next surcharge (CNM calls it a surcharge), which was the next highest add-on/pocket-picking, was $11.27.  Their name for this surcharge is the "Outside [CNM] Water and/or Sewer [nope, not sewer; very few of us are on public sewage] Surcharge."  So they sting us badly for the fact that they installed water supply pipes decades ago, and don't service them, unless they absolutely have to, and they sting us somewhat more gently for the fact that we're not actually part of CNM.

Then, there's the VBP Utility Tax.  That was $4.51 this quarter.  I have no complaint about this tax.  I wouldn't care if it was more.  CNM collects it, and gives it (possibly minus a small administrative fee for collecting it) back to us.  It's one of several utility taxes we have various providers of various things charge us, so they can give it back to us.  Because we (VBP) have very limited ways of getting revenue to do things (a number of which we can't afford to do), and we rely on our very own selves.  The big check we write ourselves is for ad valorem property taxes, but there are several non ad valorem taxes we also pay, like this one for water.  You'll find an extra VBP tax like this on your electric bill, your phone bills, and your cable bills.

Finally, Dade County charges us something they call a "Service Fee."  On my quarterly bill, this amount was $3.38.  Just over a buck a month.  Next to nothing.  Although...  Since we get our water from CNM, which would attend to the pipes, if they felt like it, it's not exactly clear what "service" the county provides.  Not that it matters, because it's such a small amount, but I'd rather they just call it a county tax.  You know, just because.

It's a very funky system, this business of charging for water.  And as much less than it is more or less anywhere else in the country (much), it's still worth at least a passing thought as to what it's about, apart from the obvious: people/agencies/municipalities (very much mostly CNM) taking other people's money.  I know they need it.  So do we.  But still...

I used someone's idea of $7.56 worth of water in three months, and it cost me $64.25 to get it.  I paid between eight and nine times what the water cost.  I think I should use more water.

You Can Thank Luigi Di raimondo.

Luigi Di raimondo has become a disease in this blog.  I don't know Luigi.  I remember his last name from when I was last campaigning, but I don't remember if I spoke to him, or to one of his relatives.

At any rate, Luigi has descended on this blog like a plague.  He is nasty, he is ugly, he is broadly accusatory, with no evidence, what he says doesn't make any sense, he is irrepressibly insulting, and he won't stop.  I've asked him several times to stop, and to go away.  Some other blog commenters have made the same request of Luigi.  But unloading his irrational and offensive nonsense is all Luigi wants to do.

So I have changed one procedure about this blog.  I cannot block a particular individual -- the blog, and blogspot, don't have a mechanism for that -- but I can "moderate" comments.  That is, I can decide which comments can be published.  I have taken that authority.

From now on, I will automatically, without bothering to read the whole comment, permit publication of any and every comment, except those from Luigi.  All of those will be denied.

It's extra work for me, and it creates a delay between when the comment is written and when I approve it -- if I'm in the middle of something, it can take several or many minutes, or even hours, until I have the time to scan the comments (for the name of the author), but it saves everyone from having to hear from Luigi, and it preserves the always valuable contributions from authors and commenters who have developed a need to avoid Luigi.

I'm sorry for this.  If it's a problem to you, and you know Luigi, you can complain to him.

Flowergate Follow-Up

I just had the best chuckle, which I simply must share. During my campaign for re-election to the BP commission, I placed 128 yard signs throughout the village. (Thanks again, neighbors!) At the suggestion of my gay husband, I added cheerful pink plastic Gerber Daisies and other flowers on the signs in the final weeks of the contentious campaign to call attention to moi and to spread some cheer. It worked in both regards, but no good deed goes unpunished. Someone (who I won't "out" here but who takes serious issue with my gayness) charged me with violating campaign laws with those flowers. Adding pink plastic flowers to one's campaign signs is not a violation, but that didn't seem to slow down her own campaign. The police chief had to get involved, the village manager had to get involved, and our expensive attorney had to get involved and finally officially opine that the flowers could stay. (I had been threatened with tens of thousands of dollars in daily fines if the flowers weren't removed pronto.) Our local Gladys Kravitz wrote multiple emails to the village, asking that they be kept anonymous. "Public record" is the exact opposite of "anonymous," so I just read those emails with my final Thanksgiving pumpkin-nut muffin. "Gladys" accuses the village of ignoring my many violations as a resident and as commissioner without any examples or evidence (a la poor, simple-minded Rudy Guliani). But, here's the kicker: She then laments that next time I'll have drag queens in Biscayne Park campaigning for me. If only! Those girls don't work for free, you know. Another neighbor describes "Gladys" as a member of our local "lunatic fringe." For such a tiny village, our fringe is big enough to line the hems of a gaggle of drag queens. Cheers to diversity and then some!

Let Me Try to Talk About Roxy and Chuck Ross in a Different Way.

I have no doubt there have been better BP Commissions and worse ones over the years and decades. I've seen and heard about some of each.  And I've seen and heard about some of the Commissioners who made some of those Commissions good, and others not so good.

As I've said a million times, I moved here in the middle of 2005.  It was a few months or so before I started to attend Commission meetings.  I don't remember much about the Commission that ended at the end of 2005, but I remember fairly well the one that started then.  The Commissioners then were Ted Walker, John Hornbuckle, Bob Anderson, Kelly Mallette, and Chester Morris.  It was over a year later that Walker died, and his seat was filled with an appointment made by the remaining four.  The appointed Commissioner was Steve Bernard.

This first Commission I remember well was a good one.  After Walker died, Hornbuckle became the Mayor.  Meetings were tight, and they didn't last longer than 2-2 1/2 hours.  And the Commission accomplished some very important things.  The same voters who elected Mallette and Morris, and re-elected Hornbuckle, approved a Charter change that moved running of the Village and its departments from Commissioners to a professional manager.  So this Commission was the first to turn over many parts of its functioning to a manager, and to find a manager to whom to turn them over.  Symbolically, and the last (so far) step along a way that had already been established, this Commission also lowered its stipend.  And this Commission finished a process that had already been begun, which was to build a public works building.  So, some real accomplishments there, and all in the interests of the Village.

I'm going to skip over '07, in part because I'm not sure I remember the details (Mallette and Morris were in the middle of four year terms, Anderson and Bernard were re-elected, and I'm not sure who the two year term person was: it might have been Hornbuckle), and go to '09, which was a very important year.  Mallette shockingly didn't get re-elected.  I didn't see that coming, and I don't understand it.  She's a delightful person, and she was a wonderful Commissioner.  I told her as many times that there was no chance she wouldn't get re-elected as I told other people years later that there was no chance Donald Trump would get elected.  Wrong both times.  Morris didn't run for re-election.  Hornbuckle didn't get re-elected.  Anderson and Bernard were in the middle of four year terms.  The three new Commissioners who joined them were Roxy Ross, Al Childress, and Bryan Cooper.

I have to pause part of this story to talk about the Rosses.  Chuck, and, for all I knew, Rox, were in some way associated with Steve Bernard.  Steve was one of the most subversive and seditious people I have known in BP.  He was divisive, mischievous, and did not have an agenda, except to sow discontent.  I have no idea how Chuck, and possibly, for all I then knew, Rox, got associated with him.  But I was sure Chuck was.  I was wary of Rox, because I wasn't sure she, too, wasn't associated with Steve, and I told her so.  She reassured me many times that she was completely independent, and no feeling she did or didn't have regarding Steve Bernard would have any bearing on how she would conduct herself as a Commissioner.  She later told me that she worked harder for my vote than she did for anyone else's.  But she didn't get it.  Chuck and I were already friends, and one day, we were doing something related to campaigning.  Chuck opened the trunk of his car, and he had some campaign signs for Bryan Cooper, who I already knew was a Steve Bernard devotee.  So I figured that if I already knew there was some association between Chuck and Steve, and if Chuck was helping Bryan, then I was prepared to make an unfavorable assumption about Rox.  Wrong, wrong, wrong!  Rox is Rox.  She is not Chuck.  She is not Steve Bernard.  She is who she said she was: completely independent, with her own set of ethics, and an intellect and moral compass that are entirely unique.  I told Rox I didn't vote for her that first time.  When she's in a mood to tease me in a playful way, she reminds me about my lapse of faith.  She was right, I was wrong, and I've apologized as many times as I'm going to apologize.

So, Steve Bernard made the same mistake about Rox that I did.  He assumed...  When it came time for the new Commission to nominate one of its members to be the Mayor, someone (it had to have been Anderson or Childress) nominated Rox, she accepted the nomination, she, Anderson, and Childress elected her Mayor, and Bernard went on an unrelenting rampage, to punish Rox for not bowing and deferring to him, and anointing him as he expected.  If you weren't at those meetings, it's hard to envision the disruptiveness, overtalking, sniggling, sniping, and gross childishness Bernard and Cooper showed toward Rox, all meeting, every meeting.  I have no idea how Rox kept her composure.  It was not infrequent that she had to stop meetings for a several minute break.  These two children were totally out of control, and it was all aimed at Roxy Ross.  But she always looked forward, she never lost it (as anyone else in the world would have), and all she ever tried to do was make the Village "A Better Place to Be."  That was her slogan.

As another aside, there is no such thing as training to learn to be an elected representative.  People can become expert in particular areas that have implications for government functioning, or they can "major" in public policy or something.  But there is no curriculum anywhere that selects the best candidates, and provides the relevant education, for someone to be a good governor.  Roxy Ross is, by profession, a paralegal.  All paralegals know a great deal about the law, and Rox is an exceptionally talented and committed paralegal.  She is also breathtakingly well-organized.  She's patient, but she is not distractible.  She has a wonderful personal style.  Almost every good thing that has happened in BP since 2009 has happened because of the leadership or the support of Roxy Ross.  What creates the Roxy Ross we know is intelligence, raw talent, her personal style, and her innate ethical sense.  And Roxy is part of a team.  The other part of that team is Chuck Ross.

Chuck is a hoot.  It's the most obvious thing about him.  He's energetic, he's unrestrained, he's opinionated (and almost always right), and he makes things happen.  He's super smart, which makes the combination of him and Rox almost a bit scary.  They're both super smart.  Chuck, and Rox, are also deeply devoted.  Neither of them flinches from that devotion.  And the prime recipient of that devotion for the past +/- 13 years has been this Village.  It's been you and I.  They have each other, they both have day jobs, and they give the appearance of caring more about us than they do about anything or anyone else.

Rox had initially become active with the Recreation Advisory Board, and Chuck took over Citizens' CrimeWatch from his predecessor, Joe Chao.  As good a job as Joe did with CCW, Chuck exploded its relevance here.  I think he has quadrupled or quintupled the membership, created strong working alliances with a succession of police chiefs (until Tracy Truppman interrupted Chuck's success), and he made a name for himself in the county's CCW.  Chuck has won county awards for best CCW chairperson, I think more than once.  There seems to be no one, and no one's story, Chuck doesn't know.

Chuck is an accountant.  He's been amazingly helpful to Rox, and to us, in helping to analyze Village finances, and the Village books.  He's worked well with the succession of our Finance Directors, and they all value his contributions.  They say so publicly.

You know the story of Chuck's attempt to help David Hernandez, so we wouldn't be on the hook for hundreds of thousands of dollars in CITT money which we might have had to refund.  Had it not been for Chuck.  And Chuck has taken his share of flak, too, from a variety of unappreciative and/or embarrassed people.

Have you ever seen a movie called "Chef?"  2014, written and directed by Jon Favreau, and he's the star of it.  It's a really terrific movie, and parts of it are set in Miami.  Favreau's character is a spectacular chef in a restaurant owned by Dustin Hoffman's character.  A well-known critic, played by Oliver Platt, is coming to eat, and will write a review.  Platt's reviewer pans the meal, as well as Favreau's character, whom he had promoted enthusiastically some years before.  Favreau's character gets infuriated, and a Twitter pissing contest ensues.  Favreau's chef says he'll cook an entirely new menu, just for Platt's reviewer, on a date specified.  The restaurant is packed, waiting for the showdown.  Favreau's chef is going to innovate, but Hoffman's restaurant owner insists on presenting only the standards.  There's a showdown between the two of them, and Favreau's chef quits.  Platt's reviewer shows up for the challenge menu, finds the same old, same old, chuckles, and starts tweeting.  Favreau's chef comes storming back in to confront the smug and self-satisfied reviewer.  He yells at the reviewer, telling him how hard everyone works to provide a wonderful meal for patrons, how good the food really is, how the reviewer doesn't even understand the process and mechanics of creating the dishes, and how the reviewer just sits there, offering nothing, and taking pathetic pleasure in criticizing people who do what the reviewer can't do.

That's what Roxy and Chuck Ross have had to put up with from a number of us, and from some people who work for us.  Some of us, and some of our employees, have no concept at all about what makes excellent municipal functioning, and they wouldn't know it if it hit them in the face.  They're limited and wholly inadequate to the task, and all they can do is criticize people who do what they couldn't dream of doing.  They're too foolish and unappreciative to allow master craftspeople to take the lead.  But knowing Rox and Chuck as I do, I suspect they will retain much better and clearer memories of those of us who were grateful.

It's not that I will personally miss Roxy and Chuck Ross when they move to Gainesville.  They are extremely close friends to me, and of course I'll miss them.  What's at issue is that we -- the Village -- will miss them.  Many of us don't realize how much we'll miss them, and we won't know it while it's happening.  Their absence might be dramatically deflating, or it might be subtly deflating.  Some opportunities for vision and great functioning might continue, or come to us again some time.  We're very lucky to have Mac Kennedy and Art Gonzalez on the Commission now.  Unfortunately for us, the current majority of the Commission -- the three Commissioners who are not Mac and Art -- don't listen and follow along as they should.  They don't have enough sense, and they're too taken with themselves and what they imagine is some sort of personal accomplishment: being a Commissioner.  They don't know that their being a Commissioner is not about them.  It's about you.  It's about the Village where you live.  It's about making BP "A Better Place to Be," which is what Roxy and Chuck Ross worked hard and long to do every day, for years, and for free.

Who Said We Need an Odd Number of Commissioners? Most Votes Were 4-0.

That's what I get for tuning in to the Commission meeting two minutes after 7:00.  Ginny O'Halpin was inexplicably not there, and Vice Mayor Mac Kennedy started the meeting on time.  Mac ran the meeting for about three minutes, until Art Gonzalez became the new Vice Mayor, and he ran the rest of the meeting. 

Everyone was relieved to have a new/real Village manager.  He's already been in very substantive talks with WastePro, and it sounds like we can expect results.  Everyone was encouraged, except Judi Hamelburg, who told a personal story of what she said was uncollected waste, and her demand for a refund.  Rox Ross, in her public comment, noted that Mario Diaz got the support of five sitting Commissioners, and two Commissioners-elect.

It struck me as an interesting, and frankly somewhat disturbing, curiosity that the Commission seemed to want to make board alternates second class citizens, who can fill in for board members, and participate in discussions (at most), but not vote on board decisions.  These alternates are our neighbors, and they are identical to the board members, except that there is a limited number of seats per board, and there can be more applicants than empty seats.  But we (as Commissioners) don't choose board members because they're the only applicants who are qualified.  We choose them because we only need to fill a few seats.  There's no difference in ability between the people we choose and the people we don't.  (If there was only one open seat on a board, and only one applicant, we would appoint that applicant to the board.)  So, if someone we chose to fill a seat can't do it, because of conflict of interest, or because the member is unable to attend a meeting, then the alternate should be equal to the regular member.  They're equal enough to be alternates, and  they're equal enough to fill in for the absent member, and they're equal enough to participate in discussions.  They should be equal enough to vote.  By their presence, and whatever they contribute to the discussion, they will certainly have influenced the vote.  They should be a part of that vote.  It was a bit of a roller coaster, but it seems the Commission finally found its way to empowering alternates this way.

Mac Kennedy has been crusading for quite a while about lack of safety, or even consideration, at construction sites, and he finally grabbed his chance to propose a relevant Ordinance.  Mac had absolutely the right idea tonight.  The only problem was that Commissioners were trying to make contractors of themselves, and "micromanaging" the specific precautions that should be taken.  They were on much more solid ground when they discussed matters like what time of day, and which days of the week, construction-related noises could occur.  Judi Hamelburg expanded our appreciation of what days work could be done by sharing a personal story of roofing work she had done at her house on a Saturday.  Judi unknowingly offered the Commission an important insight: don't try to make specific rules for everything, foreseen or unforeseen.  The answer was to establish a general theme, and leave the specifics, like what to do in an emergency, or if it's a roof task, and a storm is approaching, to the manager.

During one of the excursions into expertise Commissioners don't have, there was discussion to the extent that lay people should not be writing codes.  Manager Mario Diaz was somewhat assertive about this.  But Judi Hamelburg shared her personal story of having been part of the Code Review Committee, and having participated in writing codes.  Judi pointed out that the Village seems always to have written its own codes.  There was no discussion about the disorganization and inconsistency of a number of our codes, leading several Village cognoscenti to conclude, as Mario Diaz said, that we should have our codes professionally rewritten.

Attorney Ed Dion rethought his reaction last month, and he now says that his firm, which he said last month had no experience in aviation matters, does have adequate experience, and he even quoted us a price to represent us.  So we won't have to hire a separate lawyer, as he told us last month we would.

Commissioner/Vice Mayor/tonight's acting mayor Art Gonzalez introduced an initiative that encouraged Commissioners to respond to their neighbors who make public comments and ask questions.  Art remembers that there used to be an agenda item called something like Commissioner responses to public comments.  This suggestion was such a slam dunk softball that it's hard to imagine that anyone didn't say "well, of course."  And it seems as if possibly everyone eventually did agree.  It was not clear to me if Dan Samaria agreed.  He was very resistant, but he might have caved in, once he was reassured he was under no obligation to respond to his neighbors.

Wasn't it Maynard G Krebs who said, or shrieked, "Work; work?!"  About the same reaction followed Mac Kennedy's suggestion that Commissioners receive written communications electronically, instead of on paper.  Judi Hamelburg shared a personal story about what electronic hardware she uses, and about her secretary's responsibilities, and she just couldn't agree to have to read on a screen, or print what she wanted on paper.  Dan Samaria wholeheartedly agreed.  So that initiative failed, and Judi and Dan can continue to have someone print reams of paper that will quickly be discarded, sometimes with significant parts of it unread.

Establishing goals, for the Commission and for the manager, is another painfully obvious suggestion.  It required little or no discussion, and certainly not the amount it got.  I still say we are under the burden of too many people who like to hear themselves talk.  There was a very early Woody Allen movie which I think was called "Sleeper."  In it, Allen was masquerading as a surgeon, and he kept repeating the word "structure," because he liked the sound of the word, and he liked to listen to himself say it.  It was kind of like that.

The final matter was Judi Hamelburg's wish to discuss Commissioners' use of the Village's attorney's time.  Judi started with a personal story about a business she runs, and how she pays the expenses for her personal business.  The purpose of this story was unclear, but somehow, Judi segued this into a criticism of Mac Kennedy, and an accusation that Mac was using the Village attorney for his own benefit in his campaign.  Judi was very concerned about expenses like this, and she was not one bit mollified when the Village attorney reassured her that no personal campaign matters for Mac's benefit were discussed.  Mac further suggested, more than once, that Judi check with the Village attorney herself before she makes a public indictment of Mac.  But Judi knew where she wanted to go, and no one was going to stop her from going there.

4 1/4 hours.

I Still Say We Should Remove Ed Burke's Name From Our Park. But It's Way Bigger Than That.

No, I know Dan Keys doesn't agree with me.  Dan was a Commissioner in the '80s, when Burke was the mayor, and Dan has endless fondness, respect, and reverence for Burke.  If there were ever any BP residents who complained about Burke, or who do now, Dan is not one of those people.  To Dan, Burke was a uniquely valued "mentor," and any tribute anyone ever gave him is at least fitting.  And besides, there are all the then Village residents who will remember Burke for the favors he did them, and the obstacles he caused to go away.  I get it.  I just don't agree.  And more than that, I don't think that in a comparatively intimate neighborhood like this one, anyone should be singled out for note like that, as if they were more, or better, than anyone else.  If they did good, good.  The fact of the good they did should be reward in itself.  And someone like Arthur Griffing, for whom a street and a park are named, did himself a lot more good than he did for us.  If you don't like the narrow streets and the small lots here, and the absence of sidewalks (which would have taken a little room, cost some money, and reduced the prices of the lots Griffing was selling), you can thank Arthur Griffing.  If you don't like front yard walls on some properties, and you wonder how some people got permission to build walls the BP Codes don't allow, you can thank Burke.  Also, if you're one of those BP residents who don't like "outsiders," including not only "cut-throughs," but also people who don't live in BP, but who feel, and are, free to use our park/recreation center/basketball courts, and you resent that we built that park/recreation center/basketball court using state money, which means the state won't let us restrict use of the park/recreation center/basketball court only to ourselves, and you're prepared to get angry at whosever bonehead idea it was to seek and accept the state grant, from which we can never liberate ourselves, you can get mad at Burke for that, too.  (Eventually, Burke moved away from BP.  I think he moved to some other state in the south.  I don't know why he left.  It could have been for any of a number of reasons.  He died in a nursing home somewhere in the past several years.)

But it's not Burke.  I'm sure he had his very good points.  Hey, he got elected a lot.  And he earned a level of respect and admiration Dan Keys doesn't give anyone else.  I just don't like the idea of things -- buildings, parks, whatever -- in BP honoring individuals.  It's not like Ed Burke paid for the park himself.  And even if he had...  The building at the recreation center has a plaque with the names of the then Commissioners, and I don't approve of that, either.  There's a similar plaque at the Public Works building.  Nobody asked my permission.  If they had, I would have told them no.  It's possible my name might some day be on a plaque either at the log cabin or the administration building.  Or both.  I object.  I protest.  I did object and protest, but I was told I couldn't evade this tribute.  To what?  The fact that I was on the Commission when these projects were agreed to and executed?  So what?  I was a small cog in a very big wheel.  It's true I voted in favor of these projects, but if there are ever plaques with names, my name will be there even if I had voted against the projects.  And voting in favor of them, or just being there, is all I did.  I didn't pay for them.  My name is no more important than is yours.  Should we have a plaque with the names of all of the then approximately 3000 Village residents?  What about the state money, which paid for most of the projects?  A plaque with the names of every resident in Florida?  We don't have state income tax.  We rely importantly on tourists, and people who buy things like the produce we...produce.  There are a lot of names that could properly go on a plaque at the log cabin and the administration building.

Here's why we're having  this conversation.  (Yes, there's an actual reason.)  Roxy and Chuck Ross have just closed on a house in Gainesville.  And they're about to list for sale their house in Griffing Boulevard.  You don't need me to walk you through this math, right?

Let's say Ed Burke was a credit to the Village.  He should have been.  He lived here, he was repeatedly elected to the Commission, the Commission repeatedly elected him mayor, and no one has told me he did not accept his Commission stipend, which was not the reduced stipend it is today.  If he dominated the Commission, which Dan Keys might or might not say he did, then that was his style, and it was the style of his Commission colleagues to permit it.  And Ed Burke is not remotely the only Village resident, or elected representative, who served the Village, and served it (presumably) well.  Richard Ederr was mayor for about 10 years, and people loved him for that.  Bob Anderson was a Commissioner for a total of 20 years.  There have been very many electeds apart from those few I just named.  And even more Village residents who were never elected, but served either on boards, other groups, or simply volunteered.  If I believed in honoring people, by attaching their names to things, (which I don't), there would be plenty of people to honor.  Heck, I gave you a short list of some of them several posts ago, when I told you who donated their own money to buy sculptures to beautify your Village.  No one's name is on any of the sculptures.

But if I would even think of making an exception, here's where I'd make it.  And it's in two places.  One is the Foundation's project from a few years ago to sell bricks that would compose a walkway to the log cabin.  The idea was that Village residents, or anyone, would buy bricks, on which their names, or whatever they want, would be inscribed, and the money they paid, which was vastly more than the cost of a brick paver, would be the Foundation's "profit," which it would use for some other initiative.  

The other exception I would make would be for the Rosses.  It's not easy to understand, much less explain, the extent to which Roxy and Chuck Ross have served, and upheld, this Village.  They have given endless time and energy, and a not trivial amount of money, to us.  They have been steadfast, under sometimes unspeakable conditions.  As much as many of us appreciate them, and are grateful to them, some others are unashamedly critical, disrespectful, and even insulting or accusatory.  "Backwards and in high heels," indeed.  The Rosses are exceptionally intelligent, unbelievably well organized and prepared, perspicacious, broad-thinking, and unflappable (well, Chuck's not always unflappable, especially when someone is giving Rox a hard time).  They have never, for an instant, taken their eyes off the ball.  Except that one time, when the hypnotic Steve Bernard temporarily had Chuck questioning reality.  But Chuck righted himself.  And even at that, Chuck didn't go along with Steve for a little while because he knew Steve wasn't telling the truth, or was disruptive.  It's because he thought Steve had the Village's interests at heart.  Chuck and Rox do.

I met Chuck, and Rox, in a very funny way.  I had seen them at Commission meetings, and had heard Chuck make public comments (then mayor John Hornbuckle once joked to Chuck that if being an accountant didn't work out any more at some point, Chuck should think of a career in radio: Chuck has a great baritone voice), but I didn't know them.  We had never been introduced.  But one day, Chuck reached out to me to ask if we could get together for coffee, which we did at what was the Starbucks (now Cafe Creme) on 125th St.  Chuck told me Steve had said such terrible things about me that he -- Chuck -- had to see for himself.  We quickly became very fast friends, and we have been ever since.  I trust Chuck, and Rox, implicitly, and I have every confidence they trust me the same.  We're on the same page about most things, and we have complete respect for each other when we don't agree.

I entertained the thought, when I was imagining freeing myself from my stricture about these things, that once Roxy was no longer on the Commission, I would "lobby" to have the main and larger function area of the administration building called the "Roxanna S. and Charles A. Ross Conference Room."  I didn't allow myself even to think of something like the "Roxanna S. and Charles A. Ross Administration Building," or the "Roxanna S. and Charles A. Ross Log Cabin."  I just imagined something more modest, and as a tribute to their unwavering and entirely selfless hard work.

But I'm not free from my strictures about such things, and I don't think that's what we should do, and I think we should remove Ed Burke's name from the park, no matter how much anyone liked him, or how much he might have helped the Village, in whatever ways he did.

I do, though, want to say goodbye and thank you to the Rosses.  It's the very least I can do.  And nothing anyone could do would be gratitude, or compensation, enough.