I'm Such a Charmer!

It's like bees to flowers around me.  I guess it's kind of flattering, really.

Two or three months ago, I applied for one of the two open seats on the Foundation.  And my application was all it took.  Two days before the Commission meeting to approve (or not) my application, four people suddenly applied for the two seats.  On Easter Sunday!  Well, of course it only made sense to seat people who had shown no prior interest in the Foundation, or any other area of Village functioning.  I totally understand that.

This month, I applied to be on the Public Safety Board.  Two people had applied back last year, but since there can't be a Board, and there's no quorum, with only two people, their applications were never approved.  There wouldn't have been any point in approving them.  But with my application, the Board could function.  Damn, if after I applied, seven other Village residents weren't suddenly overtaken by an inspiration to apply for that very same Board.  It's kind of like magic.

I think I must have some sort of voodoo power in the Village.  I can fill any Board, just by applying to be on it.  And I stimulate way more applicants than are needed to fill seats.

I don't know what to say.  You're welcome?

The "Right of Way"

If you haven't seen the movie "The Station Agent," you should.  It's a terrific movie.  It's about, among other things, a guy who loves trains.  He's an expert on them, and on the rail industry and its history.  At one point, he explains to another character about his habit of "walking the right of way."  The train track, and the land under it, are called the "right of way," because in the 19th Century, the US government seized land, and gave it to the railroad companies, so they could build tracks on it.  It's a strange and dissonant use of the term "right of way."  It was land taken (no doubt by eminent domain, and with compensation to the owners) by the government, and given to someone else, for what amounts to their private use.  "Right of way" sounds friendly.  Taking someone's land, and giving it instead to someone else, isn't friendly at all.  Although presumably, the government thought it would be in the common interest to enable the rail industry.

Here in BP, we have two concepts that are subsumed under the term "right of way."  One is about land.  The medians and the swales are designated as rights of way.  So are the alleys behind some of the houses here.  And there were other tracts, essentially walking paths, that were also rights of way, until they got absorbed into property owners' landscape schemes, and you couldn't find them any more.  But the other rights of way, including the swales in front of all of our houses, do not, in fact, belong to us.  They belong to the Village.  They can be used for whatever the Village wants to use them for.  They can have utility installations on or under them.  The use of them is not our call.  But we have to maintain them as we maintain what is our property.  We can landscape them, with restrictions, and we have to cut what grass we put there, trim what shrubs we plant there, and assume all the maintenance responsibilities, even though we property owners don't own them and cannot determine their use.  So again, there's something unfriendly about the real concept of those rights of way.  They are intended for the public good.

The other concept that is called right of way has nothing to do with land, per se.  It has to do with primacy.  If you're driving along a road, and a driver wants to pull out onto the road where you're driving, you have the right of way.  If two people stop at four way stop signs at the same time, the one to the right has the right of way.  If four people stop there at the same time, the one coming from the north has the right of way, and can go first.

Many jurisdictions, including the municipalities in south Florida, grant the right of way to pedestrians over cars.  So if you're walking in the street, let's say crossing it, and a car comes along, the car has to stop for you, even if you're jaywalking.  Because you're a pedestrian, and you have the right of way.  That's a combination of safety and courtesy.  And the assumption, of course, is that you will expeditiously finish crossing the street, so the car can proceed.  That's the courtesy you, as a pedestrian, owe drivers.  You should also, of course, not arrogantly jaywalk, just because you have the right of way if you do.

Jaywalking is not legal, although the superseding statute says the driver has to give pedestrians the right of way.  And there are other rules that are intended to control the use of the streets, for the purposes of safety and courtesy.  For example, pedestrians are required by law to walk "against traffic," so that they will see cars coming toward them from in front of them.  If you know this is the law, and you think it's painfully self-evident, you can explain that to all the pedestrians who walk on the right, with the flow of traffic, so cars come up on them from behind them, where the pedestrians can't see them coming.

Likewise, it's painfully self-evident that if you're in the street (in BP, if you're walking anywhere except around the recreation center, you have to be walking in the street, since we don't have sidewalks anywhere else), and a car is coming, you should get out of the way.  The choice you always have is to step onto the swale wherever you are.  The choice you sometimes have is to step onto a median.  But get out of the way.

Streets are built only for one purpose: non-pedestrian traffic.  They're there for cars.  No one builds streets for pedestrians.  If you're on the street, and a car is on the same street, you should yield.  You have choices where to walk.  Drivers don't have choices where to drive.  So just move out of the way.  Step to the side, take your dog or your stroller with you, and let the car pass.  They're moving faster than you are, and you'll have the street back very soon.  Is there something you're trying to prove?

The law protects pedestrians, so drivers have to go to trouble not to hit them.  But drivers have a right of way, too.

I Just Have to Say Something About Nicole Susi

Nicole and Jared are newish in the Park.  I'm guessing something like three or four years.  Nicole will correct me, if I'm wrong.  They got a funky house that had been left unattended-to for some years, and they've put a lot into it.  I dropped Jared off at home a few nights ago, and the house looks great from the outside.  Then, they had a baby while they lived here.

Despite being relatively newish, and having loads of stuff to take their attention-- the house, the young'un, Jared's work-- they have been conspicuous for their involvement in various aspects of Village functioning.  They seem almost to have fallen in love with Biscayne Park.  They're everywhere, attending everything, participating, contributing, being on Boards.  And they're both so nice and friendly about it.  They're not pushy or domineering or demanding or high maintenance.  They just like their home and neighborhood, and they want to be good citizens. They're better citizens, in some respects, than are some people who have lived here much longer.

The other thing I would say about the Susis, and I can't imagine they would mind, because they aren't shy or embarrassed about it, is that their politics are, I would say, very conservative.  They don't spout partisan rhetoric or anything, but whenever a conversation turns to philosophy of society, matters of government, and related specific issues, they're pretty consistently conservative in their approaches.

On Thursday, Nicole was at my house.  She's never been to my house before.  She was there to receive her two new cast iron skillets.  (She left the other one for Linda Dillon, who picked it up yesterday.)  I told her I'd bring them to her house, but she chose to come to my house instead.  And she came with junior, who was a dramatic object lesson about how childproof my house is not.  He was all over the place, touching everything, and threatening the breakables.  I have to say I was in awe of how composed Nicole was the whole time.  She was alert, attentive, and gentle, in continuous motion, constantly intercepting her son, and often holding the squirming young gentleman, who only wanted to run around exploring Uncle Fred's shiny glass curiosities.  Nicole demonstrated an amazing combination of energy and patience.

Because Nicole has never before been to my house, she could not have expected the disastrous profusion of art.  It's pretty bad in here.  I recently had the inside of a window sheetrocked over, so I would have more wall space, because I got a new and relatively large painting.  It was that painting that led to my being even more impressed with Nicole than I was before.

The painting is five feet tall and four and a half feet wide, and it's a portrait of Barack and Michelle Obama.  I would never say I think Obama was one of our greatest presidents-- I think he was good in some ways, and ineffective in others-- but I bought the painting, because it is a magnificent portrait.  The faces have such attitude, power, and humor.  I also wanted to support the artist.  I told the artist she did the Obamas a favor.  She made them even more than they are.  My inadequately educated impression is that they seem like cool people, but they really "pop" in that portrait.

Well, you don't see that painting, unless you're in the house, and facing the street, as if you were leaving.  (I blocked out a front window to make a wall for that portrait.)  That's probably when Nicole saw it.  She didn't flinch.  She didn't grimace.  She didn't let me know how disappointed she was.  She brought junior over to the painting, to point out the color red (the backdrop of the portrait is an American flag).

Talk about a cool person.  That Nicole Susi...  (And to her similarly very great credit, Linda Dillon didn't flinch, either.  Linda is another story of steadfast dedication to the Park.  And she's been cultivating her commitment here for decades.  Linda is the only person I know who has never, in my experience, missed a Commission meeting.  Never.  And she's like Dale Blanton, another gem, both of whom are soft-spoken, kind, and serious long term members of the Code Compliance Board.  We really do have some very cool neighbors.)

"The Air Is Humming. Is Something Great A-Coming?" To Paraphrase Stephen Sondheim.

In November, we have elections for Village Commission seats.  There should be three of them available, and they would be the seats currently filled by Roxy Ross, Will Tudor, and Harvey Bilt.  The only reason we wouldn't have three seats to fill is if we had more than three seats to fill.  That is, if Tracy Truppman, Jenny Johnson-Sardella, or both decided to resign, with the timing being that those seats, too, would be contested during the November election.

I have had no reason to think Tracy or Jenny plans to resign.  No one has said any such thing.  If I had to guess-- and it would only be a guess at this point-- I would guess that Roxy Ross isn't running for re-election.  She's done a stunning job for the Village, but I get the sense that she might be feeling there's nothing more she can do, since she has a Commission majority single-mindedly, and mindlessly, poised against her.  And unfortunately for all of us, it's personal.  The anti-Roxy majority don't want anything, and certainly nothing for the Village.  Their only intention is to defeat whatever Roxy suggests.  I'm saying "they," but it's really only Tracy.  The others are empty-headed stooges, who simply do whatever Tracy tells them to do.

I couldn't begin to guess what Will's and Harvey's plans are with respect to the Commission.  Will ran with only one goal: to prevent the Village, through its Commission's attention to the driveway and swale Ordinance, from making him install a driveway on his property.  I'm guessing he made clear to Tracy, when they were running together, that this was all he wanted, and she agreed to protect him.  The problem for Will is the same as the adage "you can't buy silence; you can only rent it."  Will can only succeed, if he, or someone sympathetic to him, is on the Commission for as long as he owns property here.  The tide turns diametrically as soon as there's an unsympathetic (to Will and his goal) Commission.  So Will has reason always to want to be on the Commission, at least as long as he lives here.  But it's unlikely he always will be on the Commission.  That party will come to an end at some point.

I have no idea what are Harvey's plans, and it's partly because I have no idea what Harvey is doing on the Commission.  He snagged what he must have thought would be an easy opportunity to get on the Commission-- although it turned out to be harder than he probably expected-- and he has done nothing with his tenure so far.  Nothing except listen to himself talk.  But there was never any apparent theme or agenda, and no recognizable accomplishments.  Harvey has as much reason to run for re-election as he had to run in the first place.  If it was about a thrill, or to pat himself on the back for the achievement, then whether or not he runs for re-election depends on how thrilled he's been, or how affirming he thinks this whole project has been for him.  It's not about the Village; it's just about Harvey.  And no one but Harvey can know how this feels to him.

So the question is what happens as a result of the November elections.  Most likely, Tracy and Jenny stay.  But unless Tracy can arrange to control one of the other three seats to be contested, she no longer single-handedly runs the Village, which will make her unhappy.  She's highly motivated to control one of those other three seats.  If Will or Harvey or both run, and Tracy can get at least one of them re-elected, we're back to Village death for another two years.  If Roxy doesn't run, and if Will and Harvey either don't run, or neither of them wins, and Tracy doesn't find another stooge to fill Roxy's seat, or Will's or Harvey's, then the Village can function again.

And this unmasks another potentially interesting dynamic.  Because Tracy has the stifling and deadening effect she does, and exerts dictatorial power over Village administration, our manager, Krishan Manners, has also been non-functional.  Tracy has made clear to him that he does whatever she tells him, and backs her up completely, or he's history.  If Tracy is not in power any more, one of two things happens to Krishan.  Either he begins to function as a municipal manager is supposed to, but which Tracy has forbidden him to do so far, or we find out Krishan is not the right person for this job, and we get someone else.  Remember, the Village had very, very enthusiastically chosen Sharon Ragoonan as its manager in 2016, and all of us had high hopes.  Tracy simply assassinated her, presumably for what amounts to personal reasons for Tracy, and she selected and elevated Krishan in Sharon's place.  I'm not reluctant to say at this point that when we had to replace Heidi Siegel in 2016, I reached out to Krishan, whom we all liked a lot, to ask him to apply, and he said he didn't want to.  In that sense, he's like Harvey: neither of them was interested in the job, when the competition was stiff, but each agreed, when they thought it was easier.  Harvey turned out not to want or be about anything.  It's completely unclear what Krishan could or would do, if a proper Village Commission allowed him normal functioning.

So we'll see.  It could be interesting and filled with optimism, or it could just be sad.


PS: It's clear Tracy still has juice in the Village.  She was able to muster up a few stalwarts to claim to want to be on the Foundation, so she could keep Nicole Susi and me off it.  I could think instantly of at least a couple of names of people Tracy has already shown she can stimulate to be her new stooges, or she can continue to back Will and Harvey, if either or both is still interested in staying on the Commission.  She can probably lean on enough Village residents for their votes to get her old or new stooges elected, too.  Here's a funny story.  When I ran in 2016, one of our neighbors on 8th Avenue, not far from where Tracy lives, met me and agreed to have my campaign sign in her and her husband's yard.  The next thing I know, the sign has been moved back so it's hidden, and I think it later disappeared.  What I learned was that Tracy confronted her neighbor, had a temper tantrum, and demanded the neighbor not feature my campaign sign.  Does Tracy still have that much sway with our neighbors now?  I don't know.  Maybe.  Certainly with some of them.

I've Decided to Go in a Different Direction

I have lots of stuff.  It's right to say I have too much stuff.  I just get interested, and the next thing I know, I have more stuff.  But it's not entirely haphazard.  I always mean something by it.  At least, I think I do.

A few years ago, I happened to be in Tennessee, and I happened to visit the Lodge factory store.  Lodge makes, in the US, cast iron items, and particularly, they make cast iron kitchen ware.  I was very intrigued, I already had one Lodge skillet, which I think I found a reason to use once or twice, and I decided to get two new frying pans.  I think they're 10 inches and 12 inches, or maybe they're 12 and 14.  Everyone who says anything about cast iron skillets raves about them, and I had every good intention, of course.  I seasoned them properly, probably three times by now.

If it isn't obvious where this discussion is going, the fact is I didn't fall in love with my cast iron skillets, and I don't use them much.  I think I had some fantasy about what cast iron cooking would be (I read too many glowing write-ups), and that's just not what happened.

I have other pots and pans, and for whatever reasons, I'm simply more content with them.  So, I'm giving up my cast iron skillets.  Normally, with something like this that I just don't want any more, I would give them to Goodwill, around the corner on W Dixie.  But there's something about these Lodge cast iron skillets.  I don't really mean this the way it's going to come out, but they just seem too good to give away to Goodwill.  And they're the kinds of items a lot of people would want.

So, if you want them, I'm giving them to you.  Just contact me, and they're yours.  I might even throw in the one I got many years ago.  It's a low skillet, and it has a custom wood base/trivet.  It's super nice.  They all are.

"It Would Be Comical, If It Wasn't So Tragic."

That's what one of my friends said, referring to something about tonight's Commission agenda.  My friend was right, and we'll come to that tragedy.  But it wasn't the only one.

After the difficult topic was removed from the agenda, the meeting got under way.  And it was a good thing the difficult topic did get removed.  It was only last month that Will Tudor was bemoaning, sort of, the Commission's failure to accomplish anything, even though it has a rock solid majority, and addressing the difficult topic-- driveways-- might have led to an actual accomplishment.  No one, not even Will, complained when that topic was removed.  Well, Roxy Ross complained, but she doesn't count.  As we soon learned.

You might remember that last month, Roxy intended to introduce a discussion topic, and it was about meeting structure.  The theme Roxy had in mind involved proper decorum among Commissioners, and from the Commission to the non-Commissioner residents of the Park.  You might also remember that Harvey Bilt bizarrely took the liberty to suggest that the Commission not discuss Roxy's issue, and the rest of the stooges sheepishly and foolishly went along with Harvey.  Well, tonight the topic came back.  And there was no more mood to accommodate Roxy's wish for order and respect now than there had been last month.  Bobblehead after bobblehead dutifully concocted non-reasons why not, and one was lamer than the other.  A favorite was that we're a small municipality, so we shouldn't pattern what amounts to a decorum resolution after a larger municipality.  Moronic, but repeated by the kids.

But the beauty here was the contribution of Big Mama Truppman.  Big Mama summarized some of the other claptrap her stooges sputtered out, and she added some perspective.  (No, of course it didn't make any sense, but that's not the point.  The point is it's the twisted nonsense she has to produce somehow to combat Roxy Ross.  And let's remember that Big Mama specializes in complete disrespect for her neighbors and her Commission colleagues.  Does she want a system of interaction among any of them that would require her to act decently to other people?  Right.)  So Big Mama pointed out that if things had to be orderly, we'd have meetings that would last "four or five hours."  And the Commission wouldn't be able to do the business of the neighborhood.  Big Mama appeared to have ignored the facts that 1) our meetings already take four to five hours (tonight's only took two, because the goofballs unloaded the real business), and 2) this Commission doesn't accomplish anything for the Village anyway.  Big Mama, don't you remember it was just last month that your boy Tudor complained about that?  As I said, it was desperately foolish stuff, designed mostly to frustrate anything that was introduced by Roxy Ross, and, just as my friend said, "it would be comical, if it wasn't so tragic."

And then, onto Board memberships.  Most of them were easy, in that there were just fewer applicants than vacancies, so the applicants could simply be elevated to membership without discussion.  One Board was different, though.  There was a curiosity about the Biscayne Park Foundation.  That Board has three members, out of five it's supposed to have, and one has her house up for sale.  So the Board needed two new members right now, and maybe a third before too long.  About two months ago, I applied.  I had been on the Foundation before, I know and like the people on it now, and I needed something useful to do for the Village.  It was a natural.  I might have been appointed when I applied, but the day I applied was a day too late to make it onto the agenda.  The next month, there was a mix-up, having to do with whose decision it was.  Some thought the Commission had to decide, and some thought the Foundation could decide.  Well, it turned out the Commission had to decide, and by the time this became clear, the next Commission meeting had gone by.  So tonight was the night.  Mine was the only application, so it would be automatic, like the other Boards.  Then, last Friday (3/30), Nicole Susi applied.  This could be great for the Foundation.  Nicole is terrific, full of ideas and enthusiasm.  And a super nice person, and fun to work with.  It would be Jorge Marinoni, Marie Smith, Erica Pettis, until she and Walter sell their house, and move to North Carolina, Nicole, and I.  So that was it, as of Friday, March 30.

On Sunday, April 1 (you don't have to say it), four applications are received.  They come from Laura Graves, Judith Gersten, Barbara Watts, and David Goehl.  If you don't know who Laura and Judith are, you're forgiven.  They're nice women, but they keep extremely low profiles, Village-wise.  They attend nothing, they participate in nothing, and they contribute to nothing.  If you're wondering how they even knew there were Foundation openings, and why they suddenly wanted to be part of something (on a Sunday, April Fool's Day), those are very, very good questions.  You probably know Barbara Watts.  She ran for Commission about six or seven years ago, because Steve Bernard insisted on it, and she couldn't find someone else to do it for her, so she wouldn't have to.   She won her seat, and she never once connected to anything that had anything to do with the Village.  Although she was one of the votes in favor of hiring Heidi Siegel as manager.  Mostly, she just complained and criticized. And had weird crusades about other parts of the County.  The other odd thing about Barbara was that just before this past Sunday, April Fool's Day, she was conspicuous for canvassing various blocks, pleading for someone (to replace her?) to apply for the Foundation.  It seems she couldn't find anyone. And David Goehl.  David was a BP Commissioner many years ago, and like many of the prior Commissioners, he went back under ground after his term was up.  He had nothing further to do with the Village, except he still lives here.  And you might ask the same questions about Barbara and David that you might have asked about Laura and Judith: how did they suddenly come to know there were Foundation openings, and why on earth did they apply, on April Fool's Day?

So those were the applicants.  I guess Laura and David figured they'd find out the result later, since they didn't come to the meeting tonight.  (Unless they already knew?)  Judith came, but she didn't stay to find out whether or not she was chosen to be on the Foundation.  And Nicole was there.

And the envelopes, please.  Roxy Ross selected Nicole and me.  All of the other four selected Laura, and three of them also selected David.  Only Will forgot, I mean messed up, I mean independently liked the idea of Barbara.  So it was unanimous for Laura (yeah, OK, it wasn't unanimous, because Rox didn't select Laura, but I already told you, Rox doesn't count), and one short of unanimous for David.

It's a hell of a coincidence, really.  I mean, think about it.  Four Commissioners happen independently to think it would be a great idea to appoint to the Foundation someone who has absolutely no activity in any Village function, and doesn't even attend Village events.  And who somehow only thought of the idea on a Sunday, two days before the meeting. And three of them had the same completely independent idea about a long past Commissioner about whom you might have wondered if he even still lived here any more.

What the Commission managed to do was prevent the seating of two people of proven devotion by substituting two people of proven disinterest.  Talk about snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

As my friend said, it would be comical, if it wasn't so tragic.  A Commission now self-identified as accomplishing nothing, based on wanting nothing, padding a Board with members who have no reason to accomplish anything, because they don't want anything, either.  We elected ourselves one hell of a Commission.

As we were leaving, another of my friends said he imagined I would refuse to participate in anything the Foundation does, because I'm not a member of it.  Was he kidding?  Of course I will.  I have great affection for the Village, and for the Foundation.  And I'm not like Big Mama.  I don't take out my personal grudges on the Village.  And not everything has to be about me.  Like it does with Big Mama.