"More"

I have a friend who has a remote substance abuse issue.  My friend has been abstinent for 41 years.  She says the watchword of addicts is "more."  Interestingly, and for 41 years, she has been a faithful attender of AA meetings.  The "more" changed from substance use to devotion to 12 step meetings.

Sunday on the radio, there was a story about beauty treatments.  Specifically, the story was not only about the things people (women) do to beautify themselves, but about the famous people -- "influencers" -- who come out with these lines of product.  One person who was mentioned was Jennifer Lopez, who has recently begun a line of beauty products.  The person being interviewed, who is a journalist who follows this stuff, noted that Lopez clearly does not herself rely on these new products.  She's been famously beautiful for decades, long before these new products were developed.  Her appearance is more about the kind of skin she has been lucky enough to have.  But the question was why she, or any of the other people who lend their famous names to products that have nothing to do with them, would do it.  One reason was money, and another was influence, and prominence.  It turns out you can't have enough of those, either.  People just want "more," for who knows what reasons.

A side dynamic was the conflicting messages 1) constantly to be trying to do things to improve (change) your appearance, and 2) the suggestion to accept, or possibly treasure, yourself for who you are.  Including how you look.  If you're at peace with yourself, and you accept yourself as you are, then you don't go to lengths to make yourself look different, or what you have decided is better.  I sometimes think of Renee Zellweger, who was very appealing-looking, until she decided to "improve" her appearance, or resist aging.  Now, she just looks weird.  Catherine Deneuve was a beautiful young woman, and now, she's a beautiful older woman.

The next story on the radio was about the fact that many children are what people commonly think of as fat, and how there's nothing wrong with this.  The people who understand that there's nothing wrong with this refer to "baby fat," out of which young people commonly grow.  And if they don't, then they're overweight adults.  In many respects, and unless someone is morbidly obese, this is not a problem.  The commenter also pointed out that the crusade to reduce weight commonly results in temporary weight reduction, followed by regaining all the lost weight, and not infrequently "more."  Interestingly, it's also true of people with substance abuse and addiction problems that having achieved abstinence, they not uncommonly relapse, and when they do, they quickly get to the same, or greater, use as the level they thought they escaped.

And of course, there's the money addiction.  For some people, they can't get enough money, and they don't care at whose expense this is.  For many of them, it's way more money than they need, or can use, or even want.  Jennifer Lopez can't afford a relatively lavish lifestyle unless she starts a line of beauty products she either pretends has anything to do with the way she looks, or implicitly suggests will lead some other woman to look like her?  Or does she think her line of beauty products will cause people to know about her, because, you know, they don't already know about her?  Is she just addicted to the money, or is she also addicted to a need for attention?  She's had four husbands, one long term relationship to Alex Rodriguez, and she has two children.  And she still works at the areas where she's skilled.  What "more" does she want?