Prostitution

Here in the Village of Biscayne Park, money is hard to come by.  The fact is, we're not really sexy.  If municipalities, like boats and countries, are referred to in the feminine gender, VBP is a good girl.  She's modest, and if anything, she's proud of her style, and her limitations.  She'd sooner be an effective and beloved elementary grades teacher than a starlet.

But she stumbled onto a "People" magazine, then saw one of those Hollywood star tattlers, and she's beginning to think there are better ways to make a living, and maybe have some luxury in your life.  Things don't have to be arduous, and low-key.  There are ways to grease wheels, to lubricate the works a bit.

So here's what she's now got up her...sleeve.  There's the possibility of having a school, set among the houses.  It's a little more noise, like the noise some people don't like at the Recreation Center, and it will involve more and knottier traffic, like the traffic some people wish wouldn't "cut through" the Village, but the school might pay money to our girl.  It's like those ladies in the magazines, with the striking enhancements, the prostheses that look out of proportion (and who knows what will happen to them in the future), but for now, are just so eye-catching.  And they may catch the eyes of lads with money to spend.

And her favorite word?  No, not diamonds.  Annexation.  It was mentioned more than a time or two last night.  She likes annexation, because she heard there's money in it for her.  It's her ticket out of the slow lane, as municipalities go.   Now the problem is she may have to fraternize with boys who don't have her style, or her stability.  And once she hooks up with them, she's stuck with them.  It hasn't fully occurred to her that the money they give her may go more to sustain their lifestyle than to elevate hers.  And now, she's not that kind of girl any more: the sweet homegirl everyone loves.  She's a girl who runs with a different crowd.  A girl who doesn't just charm you any more.  But for money, she's really thinking of taking the plunge.

And then, there's the news from last night.  It's not good news.  The matter was registration fees for "lobbyists."  Lobbyists are bad boys.  They're pretty clear about what they want, they're willing to pay for it, and there is no reason at all to think it's in our girl's interest.  It wasn't clarified what the definition of a lobbyist is, but there's clear interest in charging them to represent their clients before the Commission.  Now I have to be up front here.  I do not like the lobby industry.  I consider it antidemocratic.  Why else would lobbyists shell out money, than to influence lawmakers in ways others cannot?  And the fact that it works so well is proof of conflict of interest.  Government is supposed to be free.  Anyone should be able to speak before legislators without paying a fee for the access.  Bryan Cooper used to know this, like two years ago, when he wanted to decline an unrestricted and no strings attached $15K gift from FPL, of the type they give lots of municipalities, because he was afraid they were somehow buying us off. Not last night, though.  Our girl was getting ready to strut.  She rolled up her skirt, and lowered her blouse.  $150 a kiss.  Or whatever you're supposed to get for $150.

Wayward?  Oh, boy.  Our girl is willing to surrender her character-- to a school, to make a bad marriage, and even to put out a bit-- just for money.  I'm not wrong, right?  There's a word for girls like that?