The Greatest Movie Ever Made

If you're going to tell me I'm very much the wrong person to form an opinion about this, because I am not a movie-goer, and I just endlessly rewatch the movies I like and own, I already know that.  I know people who can't get enough of movies.  They go to the movies A LOT.  And they like the whole movie theater ("cinema") feel of it.  I have one friend who goes to the movies EVERY Monday.  And when I have said I suppose she must see every movie that comes out, she tells me she's not even close.  Apparently, way more than 52 movies a year come out.  I know people who talk for weeks or months in advance about the Oscars, and they watch every movie that's nominated for an Academy Award.  Let me be very clear: I am not in any way one of those people.

On the radio a couple of weeks ago, I heard discussants talking about Stanley Kubrick's "Dr Stangelove."  I saw it very many years ago, and I mentioned this conversation to my friend who sees a movie every Monday.  So she did me a favor, and she brought over Stanley Kubrick's "2001: A Space Odyssey," so we could watch it together.  It was decades after "2001" came out that I decided to watch it, and I forced myself through it, so I could say I watched it.  It was one of the very worst movies I have ever seen: idiotic story, terrible acting, poor directing, caricaturish special effects.  The music was good, but that had nothing to do with the film-makers.  Once had been way more than enough, so I refused to watch it again.  The next time I saw my friend, she had acquired from ebay a copy of "Dr Strangelove," which we watched, and which she gave to me, since she doesn't have a DVD player.  It was a somewhat good movie, enhanced by the fact that Peter Sellers played three very distinct parts, with different accents, and was to play a fourth, but he couldn't pull it all off.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand, which is the title of this post.  The easy answer, which would have spared me from writing this post, is "how should I know?"  But if I had wanted it to be that easy, I wouldn't be doing this.

A year or more ago, I wrote a post which I called "The G.O.A. T."  It was about the best professional basketball player ever, and I said there was sort of no such thing, because basketball is a team sport.  That's less true of movies, because there's a fixed finished product, and a collection of people work hard together to make it whatever they want it to be.  A basketball player can be good with any team, or s/he can be better with one group of teammates, and coaches, and trainers, than with another.  In the old movie days, they used to list a few people (cast, writer, director, and maybe a couple of others).  Today, credits go on for minutes.  The viewer doesn't even know what some of these people (the "grip," etc) do.  But somehow, they're part of the end product.

And there's the question of who decides, and how, what movies, directors, writers, composers, costumers, etc, are best.  Do you want to ask the "experts?"  In 1979, the "Best Actress in a Leading Role" Academy Award went to Sally Field, who was Norma Rae in "Norma Rae."  If you want to know who didn't get that award that year, it was Bette Midler in "The Rose."  As it happens, I've seen both movies.  You show me any actress who was ever better, in anything, than was Bette Midler in "The Rose," and I'll be very curious.  It wasn't even close.  But that's not how "The Academy" voters saw it.  

I said I have a collection of movies (mostly DVDs, and a bunch of videocassettes, too).  I've acquired more over the years, but I don't keep the ones that don't interest me as much.  I should also say I have "requisites" in movies I like.  (I put requisites in quotes, because I don't always honor them.  For example, I don't like violence, horror, too much swearing, and gratuitous sex in movies.  But as it turns out, I love some movies that violate some of those restrictions.  Many years ago, I watched "Snatch" every day for a week, because I love it, even though it's loaded with violence and bad attitude.)

So, what's the best movie ever made?  Even if the question was narrowed to "in my opinion," it would be hard to answer.  Some are commonly talked about, like "Citizen Kane," which didn't do much for me.  There are great classics -- well, more modern classics -- like "Chinatown" and "The Sting."  Fabulous.  But I had gotten myself somewhat comfortable thinking of "Big Fish" as the best movie ever made.  Sure, the animation or engineering of the huge catfish was not as perfect as it could have been, but overall, the movie was so spectacular that I have been comfortable to let it take the top spot.  Amazing story-telling, acting, directing, and whatever else goes into all those credits.  Sort of until... I just rewatched "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri."  I'm captivated by any role Frances McDormand acts (and this one wasn't even Coen Brothers), Woody Harrelson was spectacular, Sam Rockwell was totally obnoxious, in a very engaging way, the directing was as good as it could have been, and every other part of that movie was...I don't know...perfect.  Even with the violence, bad attitude, and swearing.  And Peter Dinklage had a part that was very unusual for him.

I love my old Sherlock Holmes movies (Basil Rathbone, mostly from the '40s), and my new ones (Benedict Cumberbatch, from the '00s), but they all have imperfections.  Except for Basil Rathbone.  He was never imperfect.

If you suggest that "Micmacs" should be up there, I won't argue, assuming you're willing to read subtitles.  The same goes for "Tous Les Matins Du Monde."  "Mrs Henderson Presents?"  Or "Philomena," or anything else with Judi Dench and/or Bob Hoskins and/or probably even Steve Coogan?  All up there.  And "Chinatown," as annoying as I often find Jack Nicholson to be, and "The Sting."  I don't mean for an instant to slight "The Birdcage," "The Big Lebowski," "Butcher Boy," "Farinelli," or probably anything touched by Terry Gilliam.  There are really lots of great movies.

But I'm sticking with "Big Fish" and "Three Billboards..."  If you think there's something better, you can let me know what it is.