You Bought Your Commissioners a Present. And You Can Share It With Them.

You're so generous.  Here we are in 2019, when everyone and his uncle, including poor people and even many homeless people, have mobile phones, and you go and buy your Commissioners new phones.  You're the best.

It's not that they didn't all already have their own phones.  Of course they did.  But they decided you should buy them new ones.  OK, they didn't exactly ask you to buy them new phones.  They just took some of your money, and bought them themselves.

Now, why did you have to go and buy your Commissioners new mobile phones?  Well, you can be sure there's a reason.  And even though in all these years and decades, you never before had to buy your Commissioners new mobile phones, it appears something has come up that makes it best if you do get this present for your current Commissioners.  No other Commissioners you ever had needed this from you, but these do.  And here's the special reason.

It seems that a number of your neighbors-- possibly even you yourself-- have had a lapse in confidence in your Commissioners.  Some of you have noticed some odd goings-on that have led you to suspect maybe your Commissioners have been making some mischief by communicating with each other, when you can't know about it, in ways that the laws of the state of Florida prohibit.  And some of you suspect these communications have been occurring on the phone.  So, some of you have demanded to see your Commissioners' phone records, to see whom they've been calling, and when.

Well, it seems your Commissioners don't appreciate this kind of nosiness on the parts of their constituents, and they don't want you to see those records.  Maybe you think some of them have been having illegal conversations with others of them, and they think it's just none of your business.  I mean, if they had been breaking the law by having these conversations, and, in the process, subverting the democratic process, how is that any of your business?

So, instead of your Commissioners showing you what you want to see, they've hit upon a better idea.  How about you buy them a new phone, which they'll pretend is for work only, and which they'll further pretend is the only phone on which they conduct Village business, and then, they propose, you won't need to see those, you know, personal phone records?  Isn't that a pretty good deal?

Here's how it goes: they'll promise you all Village business will only be transacted on the phone they made you buy them.  They promise they won't call each other and have illegal conversations on that phone, and since they already promised that all Village business will only be transacted on that phone, then those are the only records you'll need to see.  You know, if you don't feel that you trust them entirely.  And just in case you're wondering, no, they won't make a mistake by using their personal phones-- the ones you didn't buy them, the ones they already had, the ones all Commissioners have had for decades-- and they won't cheat.  They promise.  Now you won't need to check, and everyone will be satisfied.  And if you still think you do need to check, your Commissioners will decide which phone you're allowed to check.  It couldn't be any more reassuring than that, could it?

So. here's what you'll need to know.  If you want to call your Commissioners, and we've already agreed that you won't call them on their personal and private phones, then you'll need to know what number to call.  No, not the one you already have.  We talked about this, and we all agreed: no Village business on those old phones.  The personal and private ones.  We're on an honor system here.  So, here are the phone numbers for the mobile phones you just bought your Commissioners:

305-213-4217 – Tracy Truppman

305-213-9145 – Will Tudor

305-213-4006 – Betsy Wise (Betsy claims she'll pay for this herself.  Unknown so far.)

305-213-5139 – Jenny Johnson-Sardella

786-609-5721-- Dan Samaria.  Dan's situation is a bit different.  Dan took personal initiative, and secured his own Village business phone at his own expense.  It was after Dan's move that your Commissioners took Village money to get their phones.  At the Commission meeting where this gift your Commissioners snagged from you was discussed, Dan asked if there would be Village reimbursement for the phone he got himself.  He was told no.

So, these numbers are how your Commissioners allegedly intend to communicate all Village business, and it's how they would like you to communicate with them.  Your Commissioners and the Village manager have been too busy to make these numbers public, or even to be published on the Village website, but they will be grateful that you were able to get the numbers here.  They would like you to feel free to use these numbers to call them to discuss any Village-related concern you have.  So, feel free.