"Don't Be Cruel." Or Masochistic.

It's 2016, and that's suddenly special in Biscayne Park.  For the first time perhaps ever here, we're holding elections for Village Commission in an even-numbered year.  Until this year, we held elections in odd-numbered years.  We had thought we would capture the undivided attention of Village residents by avoiding elections where there were other races and voting issues, and it seemed worth it to us to pay a premium to do that.  But we didn't capture anything.  Voter turnout was invariably shamefully low-- lower than for any other election of any kind in the even-numbered years-- and we did no more than waste our money.  We paid more to get less.

The contested Commission seats this year are mine, Bob Anderson's, and Barbara Watts'.  I'm not running for re-election.  I have no idea what Anderson's and Watts' plans are.

But the real question is what your plans are.  I have come to understand that there are some Village residents who are uniquely qualified to be Commissioners.  They are smart, they don't miss anything, they do careful and unerring research, and they appear to have perfect judgment.  They're also vigilant, and they never fail to discern the mistakes made by other people, especially whoever is on the Commission.  Or part of the Village Administration.

What's weird, though, is that these people, at least some of the most prominent of them, are not themselves on the Commission.  And it's not that anyone doesn't want them to be.  It's that they don't run for Commission.  I've approached some of them, to plead with them to run, and they refuse!

The least of the problem is that I, as a current Commissioner, and my colleagues are left to make decisions that these people then inform us are faulty.  Hey, if I can't take the heat, I should get out of the kitchen.  Oh, wait a minute, I am getting out of the kitchen.

The real problem is that without these people on the Commission, the neighborhood suffers.  And these people themselves suffer.  They know the right answer, and it doesn't get enacted.

Obviously, there's a solution that does not involve these people being Commissioners (although why wouldn't they want to be?).  All that has to happen is that they tell everyone, at least the Commissioners, what the right answer is, and the Commissioners opine and vote accordingly.  But apparently, this approach doesn't work.  I've experienced it.  Even though the insights provided make clear that there is a right way to do things, and nothing is merely a matter of anyone's opinion, Commissioners-- people like me-- are not themselves smart enough to think of that right way.  And worse, either we don't understand from these neighbors what this right way is, and what's right about it, or we don't just do what they tell us anyway.  We should.  These neighbors very clearly identify themselves, and make inescapable what the right answers are.  All we have to do is not overthink it-- or perhaps even think at all-- and just do what they say.

I don't know how to respond.  Obviously, I don't understand that which is crystal clear.  And I somehow think my own researches are valid.  Occasionally, I mistake an issue as resting on opinion or taste or some other variable, when there is really only the simple matter of right and wrong.  I seem to have a knack for choosing what is wrong.  Or so I'm told by some of my neighbors.  And they're always right, so...

If you're one of these people, I'm talking to you.  I'm pleading with you.  Please become a Commissioner.  You've made painfully clear who you are, and I promise to campaign vigorously for you.  I want you in office.  It's the only way the Village can really succeed.

If you're not a Commissioner, you allow the Village to fumble and fail.  This is not good.  It's not fair.  Your neighbors will not have the best Village they could, they won't be happy, and things will be done poorly and inefficiently. And you'll complain to and about others of us-- the ones who keep making the mistakes-- which will result in our being frustrated and unhappy.  You'll show us up for being the idiots we are, and we're obviously too stupid to understand that we should just obey what you tell us.

Worst of all, from your perspective, you will leave yourselves unhappy.  You know what's right, and what's the right way to do things.  You try so hard to warn us, and then you're stuck having to tell us you told us so, after we get it wrong.  And you, more than most, suffer from the faulty results of faulty decision-making.  Everyone else simply gets a bad result.  You get a result you knew from the start was bad, and that you tried to warn us to avoid.  How frankly infuriating that must be for you.

So please run for Commission this year.  I will do everything I can to help you win.  You should win.  No one is more capable than you are.  And here's another inducement for you.  You know how you criticize the Commissioners for getting paid to do the bad job they/we do?  When you're a Commissioner, you can get the pay.  Sweet, huh?

This year, the "qualifying period" (when you can declare your candidacy) is August 15-30.  You can go to www.biscayneparkfl.gov to find the relevant information and documents you must complete.  You'll then have over two months to campaign, and the election is on Tuesday, November 8.  You must have been a Village resident for at least one year before the day you declare.  You do not have to be at least 35, and you don't even have to own your own home here.