There Are Some of the People You Can't Please Any of the Time

Last night's special Commission meeting seemed like a minor matter.  I would have given it 30 minutes, although, yeah, I know, nothing to do with the VBP Commission happens that fast.

The issue was our old friend, the dais, and our need to, um, get off the pot.  Not only were McKenzie representatives coming, again, to listen to us fuss about the dais, but even the architect, Richard Heisenbottle, who specializes in historic renovation, came to provide his two cents.  By the time we were done with him, I suspect we took at least a dollar's worth of his thoughts.

Charlie Easton, our resident consultant/carpenter, was there, too, to provide the benefits of his own expertise and wisdom.  And it might have been a good thing he was there.  He's Barbara Watts' favorite, and she even hugged him at the beginning of the meeting.  Barbara don't do nothin' without Charlie's approval.  Or someone's.

The stage was set.  Barbara Kuhl restated the issues: the dais costs too much, and it's not movable.  Never mind that making it movable would also make it even more expensive.  This was one of those no-win dilemmas.  And no one could figure out what it meant that it was not movable.  Not being movable apparently did not mean it could not be moved.  It could be lifted and carried a short distance, which is all anyone anticipated would need to happen anyway.  It just couldn't be moved easily and often.  How often would we need to move it?  Somewhere in the range of never to very seldom.   But it wasn't easily movable. by a couple of guys, or one guy.

Heisenbottle spoke, McKenzie reps spoke, and Charlie Easton spoke.  It's hard to say there was any real conclusion.  The whole discussion was a bit of a moving target.  The bottom line is that the dais could be made more easily movable.  Yes, it could.  After a bit of what sounded to me like smoke and mirrors, it was concluded that whatever had to happen to make it more easily movable would somehow not increase the cost, or at most only negligibly.  I still don't understand whether the manipulation to make it more easily movable will make it less stable.  Heisenbottle equivocated about that.

Barbara Watts had lots of concerns, and lots of questions.  She really needed a very clear picture of what would make this dais more easily movable, how much it would change the price, and whether it would affect the overall quality and stability of this piece of furniture.  She grilled the McKenzie guys, Richard Heisenbottle, and Charlie Easton.  Finally, she got what sounded like reasonable agreement among them: the dais can be more easily movable, it won't cost more, or not appreciably more, to make it so, and it will be fully stable.  It may need an additional or stronger prop or brace here or there, but it very definitely can be done.  OK, done it was.  Barbara seemed reassured.

Roxy Ross moved to make the dais as it was originally proposed: "not movable."   I seconded.  No one else was interested, so Rox and I lost.  Bob Anderson then moved to make the adjustments described to make the dais more easily movable.  That's what Rox wanted to avoid, and so did I.  So we didn't second.  Oddly, neither did Watts.  So Dave Coviello, who is not allowed to make motions while he holds the gavel, but is allowed to second, seconded.  We voted.  Bob and Dave voted for Bob's motion, and Rox agreed to the adjustment.  It felt to her like a gentlepersonly compromise.  I held my now meaningless ground, still feeling like a movable dais was a mistake.  Barbara Watts voted against, too.  This seemed peculiar, although it no longer mattered.  Rox, wanting to pretty things up, asked for a revote, this time requesting a show of unmitigated commitment.  She wanted a unanimous vote.

Rox, you know how much I hate, hate, hate to disappoint you, but I accept that I got outvoted, and I lost, and I don't need this to be other than yours and Bob's and Dave's victory.  To me, unanimity does nothing.  So I'm sorry, my love, but I'm not changing my vote.

Dave, for no reason at all any more, turned to Barbara Watts, asking her to make it at least 4-1, in accordance with Rox's friendly and conciliatory sentiment.  No, said Barbara, she doesn't want any dais at all, unless, perhaps, Charlie Easton makes it, so she's not voting for it.

What?!  All that interrogation and squeezing of square pegs into round holes, and Barbara didn't agree to the modification?  It was she, more than anyone, who insisted on making this dais movable.  The whole effort was for her benefit.  And it was she, all this time in this meeting, who demanded to be accommodated and reassured.  She was never going to agree, no matter what McKenzie, Heisenbottle, or Charlie Easton promised and reassured her?  Why did a 30 minute meeting have to last an hour and a quarter?  I could have been home working, or watching cartoon re-runs on TV?  Wow, Barbara.