Now, THERE'S Something to Feel Good About!

I'm a Black musician who has befriended and encouraged over 200 Ku Klux Klan members to give up their robes. Here's how I approach these sensitive conversations. (msn.com)

One of my first associations to this story was the song "You Have to Be Carefully Taught" from South Pacific.  But as I read on, it was clear that racism, and all prejudice, is based on careless, not careful, teaching.

Daryl Davis is an exquisitely clever, and devoted, person.  (It sounds like he's very talented, too.)  The title of this column says he befriended and encouraged to drop out of the KKK 200 KKK members.  It's a limited column, and it's not clear if he really befriended any of them, or if he just allowed them not to feel enraged, challenging, and challenged, as they expected.  And he says he didn't "encourage" anyone to change.  He was just present, real, steady, and not provocative, and they figured out for themselves that they should change.  They realized that their whole position as Klan members was built on nothing, and was entirely spurious, and they abandoned it.

I probably never told you the joke about the guy with the flat tire.  All of my patients have heard it.  This column is a version of that joke.  It's one of my two favorite jokes:

A guy is driving way out on country roads somewhere, and he hears and feels something.  He knows already what it is.  He pulls over, takes a look, and sure enough, he has a flat tire.  So, he looks in the trunk of his car, and he has a spare.  But he doesn't have a jack.  (Do you know this joke?)  So, he looks up and down the road, wasn't really paying attention to anything except the relaxing ride, and realizes he doesn't know where he is, or where to go.  He starts walking in one direction.  He's walking along, and it occurs to him that where he is is so remote that maybe no one lives out there.  It's getting a little darker, and a little chilly, and he starts to think that even if anyone lives out there, it's possible they don't have a car.  After all, there really isn't anywhere to go.  Now, it's getting darker, chillier, and it's starting to drizzle.  He says to himself that even if anyone lived out there, and even if they had a car, they might not have a jack, like he doesn't have a jack.  He's getting increasingly uncomfortable, and he thinks that even if anyone lived out there, and even if they had a car, and even if they had a jack, maybe their jack would be rusted, or otherwise not in working order.  He's now starting to get miserable, and he thinks that even if anyone lived way out there, wherever he is, and even if they had a car, and even if they had a jack, and even if their jack worked, they're not going to lend their jack to him!  They don't know him!  So, now, he's disgusted, and he feels defeated.  He's still walking down the road, and he sees a light!  He walks down the long driveway, and he comes to a house!  He knocks on the door.  Someone answers, and says, with a smile, "yes?"  And he says, in disgust, "keep your fucking jack!"  And he walks away.

It's a gorgeous joke, and it explains, among other things, how people work themselves into assumptions that have no basis in reality.  I hope you like the joke.  And I hope you like the linked column.