The Appearance of Impropriety

It was Mac Kennedy who used this phrase repeatedly during his public comments.  In Mac's opinion, many things the Commission and the Village management did failed in that way, as Mac put it, to pass the smell test.  Tonight's meeting was a glaring example of what Mac was trying to describe.

Tracy "Big Mama" Truppman said she was in a hurry, because the agenda was so "packed."  It wasn't, and we weren't, but Tracy was working hard at something.  Her maneuverings began with choosing members for two of the Boards.  There were two odd things about this supposed discussion.  One was Tracy's derailing of the discussion before it started, and choosing instead to talk about whether we even need some of the other Boards.  Evidently, Tracy is setting the Commission up to end Boards.  What this had to do with filling the Boards on the agenda tonight was a mystery.  Except that it was part of Tracy's overall scheme of reconstructing the Village the way she wants it.  But since Tracy has no more use for the Boards than she has for anyone else who lives in Biscayne Park, it probably made its own kind of sense.  She might as well telegraph her plan starting now.  The other oddity was the 4-1 Commission vote to remove Dan Keys from his very long perch atop the Parks and Parkways Board.  I assume it was Dan Samaria who wasn't given the message that we're axing Keys, but it was very clear the other four knew it in advance.  Not a word was said about the Board or its functioning, except Mac Kennedy's public comment expressing gratitude for some of P&P's recent projects, but four Commissioners were on the very same wavelength about Dan Keys.  And those same four Commissioners were fine with the other already sitting P&P members.  They didn't want to reconstitute P&P wholesale.  It was just Dan Keys.

We went on to talk about an attorney for the Village.  Once again, the Commissioners were prepared, and mostly in line (well, the girls were).  Everything pointed to how wonderful Grey Robinson is, even though they no longer have the one attorney who was the reason four of five Commissioners (minus Big Mama) wanted to hire them, and how inferior Fox Rothchild probably is, even though they now do have the one attorney who was the reason we initially hired Grey Robinson, and apparently, a number of other recent defectors from Grey to Fox.  And the Commissioners pretended it was somehow out of their hands, because we hadn't hired John Herrin personally; we had hired Grey Robinson, for whom he was working.  So naturally, since our commitment was to Grey, we had to stay with them.  Except the Commission also let slip the reminder that Grey offered us the clear choice either to stay with them, stay with John Herrin, now at Fox Rothchild, or get counsel from anyone else we wanted.  But the girls mostly don't tell you what they really want, or why they really want it.  Except for a huge one of Betsy Wise's feet she jammed down her own throat.  Betsy reasoned it this way: Roxy Ross made a public comment that was critical of some things the current Commission is doing, so Roxy is an adversary to the Commission; Roxy and John Herrin have known each other for a long time, and even worked together; Betsy couldn't quite get John to say he had spoken to Roxy in the last six months, but she clearly wanted to leave that impression; according to Betsy, a Village resident who is not a Commissioner spoke to John about something unspecified; for all anyone knows, this could have been Roxy.  Therefore, Roxy is an enemy of the people, and John is in league with her, so he should not be hired.  (And it was either Betsy or Big Mama who wrongly said the Village attorney works for the Commission.  No, he or she works for the Village.)  No one brought tomatoes to throw at Betsy for this twisted, paranoid, and nonsensical reasoning, but she sure heard the verbal protest.  Will Tudor apologized to Roxy for the implication, and Betsy interrupted, to make sure it was clear that Will wasn't speaking for her.  A number of terms to describe Betsy were uttered.  She's a viciously nasty person.  And not honest.

Then, it was onto a variance request.  Suffice it to say that Tracy was actually the only Commissioner who understood the issues, and was disposed to grant the variance.  The rest of them were bumbling and had no idea how to think about the problem.  They thought it would buy them time if they approved one of the requested structures, and delayed on the other.  It was Roxy Ross who pointed out that the advertising for the hearing had been faulty, since it listed the hearing as taking place on March 5, but that was the day the three girls all didn't feel like going to a Commission meeting, so the matter was postponed.  Except no one else knew the matter was postponed.  And although the majority of the current Commission would point out that no one else but them matters, there's still the annoying issue of the law.  So the hearing is now postponed until the May meeting.

Perhaps the biggest joke/scam of the meeting was mobile phones.  On the one hand, there was a discussion as to the possible advisability of having Commissioners use Village-provided mobile phones for Village business.  On the other hand, it appears that in advance of this discussion, the phones have already been purchased.  Hmm.  But here was the biggest joke and scam.  The commonest expressed theory as to why it would be a great idea, and a real convenience, for Commissioners to have Village-provided mobile phones was that it would ensure "transparency."  It turns out there are several current, and thus far unfulfilled, records requests to see whom Commissioners have been calling and texting.  Part of the effort not to comply is telling those who make these requests that it will cost them hundreds or even many thousands of dollars to get the records.  Clearly, Commissioners are trying desperately to hide information about their communications, and they have the Village manager running fierce interference for them.  But the question is, on what basis should anyone assume that Commissioners will make all business communications from their business phones only (and won't either cheat or even make a mistake), and how would this be enforced?  What was proffered as ensuring transparency is actually the greatest possible cover for opacity.

In that vein, the Commissioners were asked many questions during public comment.  Not one of those questions was ever answered, either by any of the Commissioners or by the manager.  This is truly government at its very worst.

I Hate When That Happens.

We were supposed to have a Commission meeting this past Tuesday.  It was March 5, the first Tuesday of the month.  But the meeting was postponed for two weeks, until March 19.

The boys were around and ready to go, but the girls, well...  All three of them, apparently, couldn't make it.  At this point, it's a little loose as to what the excuse was, but I'm told it had something to do with an allegation that they-- the three of them-- weren't around this week.  Freakin' nasty coincidence.  I guess.

And it's odd, because Mama was at Village Hall all day, as usual.  And Jenny's car appeared at her house at 6:30 PM, presumably after work, and disappeared the next morning, as if she went back to work.  Betsy's car was in front of her house the whole time.

So it's pretty hard to cling to any idea that they somehow weren't around.  The clearly were.  They just didn't want to attend a meeting that night.  None of them did.  And assuming the absence of a Sunshine violation, it was just a dumb coincidence that none of them felt like having a meeting in advance of the same night.

You might be moved to wonder what it was about that meeting that they were each trying to avoid.  And because they all managed to avoid the same meeting, days in advance, no agenda was published.  I can't even look at a proposed agenda and guess what set the girls off.  Something, that's for sure.  And independently, unless they laugh their heads off every time anyone utters the words "Sunshine Law."  They don't seem to bother to clue the boys in any more.  But really, who cares about the boys?  It's 3-2 anyway.  Good girls.

Well, I guess we'll see what shenanigans they pull on the 19th, and if whatever mischief they make contains any clues as to what they wanted to dodge this week.

Helluva Village government we have here.  But we put this nonsense up there.  The joke's on us.

Svetlana and the Delancey Five. Two Free Tickets.

I just heard Svetlana and one of her bands a couple of weeks ago.  I didn't realize I already had tickets to see them (again) on Saturday, March 23.  I don't need to hear them again so soon.

The show is at South Miami-Dade Cultural Arts Center (SMDCAC), in the "Black Box" cabaret room.  This is the best venue there is.  My tickets are at a table abutting the stage.  It's as intimate and fun as possible.

The only thing some people will consider a downside is that SMDCAC is about 28 miles from here, if you take the straight line down I-95 and US1.  But it's well worth the trip.  The address is 10950 SW 211 St in Cutler Bay.  During the season, I'm there more or less every week, and sometimes more than once a week.

The entertainment is always a pleasure.  The people who work there are as friendly and welcoming as humanly possible.  The parking is free.

If you want to hear Svetlana and her guys, let me know, and you can have my tickets.  But don't take them unless you're really going to go.  If no one wants them, I'll turn them back in, and the cost of them will go on my account for next time I want to buy tickets for something.


PS: Svetlana sings mostly jazz and popular standards.  It's a nice selection of material.

BP (Lack of) Code Enforcement

Call me crazy, but last week's report from our village manager screamed out BP's inability to use Code to make this place better. Consider this:

Currently, there are eight violations that merit Administrative Citatioins, ie "immediate fine, no warnings, no notices, etc. ... pay up, buddy, and consider not doing that again or we'll keep taking your money." They include things like having your trash cans curbside at the wrong time, not putting the cans away, not cutting your grass, parking on your lawn, feeding hoards of wormy cats ... the real bare-bones minimal standards for a non-primitive society, let alone a tiny village with a HUGE tax rate.

Last week, of the many code violations noted, 28 fell into the categories that merit admin citations ... yet only 1 admin citation was issued. I'm no mathematician, but the calculator on my iPhone tells me that 1 of 28 is just 3.6% ... and that's a fail in anyone's book. Rather than start a never-ending cycle of courtesy notices etc that don't enact change, why not hit those 28 properties with fines and let them learn and not do that one again?

Why can't this village enforce code? Why such an epic failure of leadership on the most rudimentary things? I'm not talking about elevating us into a Coral Gables or Miami Shores ... just keeping us from falling into the abyss that is Unincorporated M-D or our neighbor, NoMi. Just meet the MINIMAL standards ... and when folks can't/won't comply, teach them the one way that everyone understands: taking their money. Funny how paying one fine teaches folks to comply to something they ignore otherwise.