And On the Eighth Day... (Part I)

There was a bit of good news in the Commission meeting last night.  For some reason, our new Commission has figured out what to do with a Consent Agenda.  Each Commissioner had seen it, there was nothing requiring deliberation or comment (the definition of a Consent Agenda), and all it needed was to be passed.  So they passed it.

It's difficult in retrospect to remember if the Commission got through half of its remaining agenda.  It could even have been a bit more than half.  But whatever proportion was addressed (not completed), the meeting got horribly bogged down.  And not in the most likely places, either.

The Police Chief's report and the Village Manager's report didn't need to take long, but they took longer than seemed necessary.

I would have figured the first millage discussion as a black hole for the Commission, but it was over before long.  I would have figured a bigger crowd, too, but the room was not packed, as it usually is for that conversation.  No real decision was made, and the conclusion was to schedule a separate meeting just for that.  Next Monday, July 17, at 6:30.  We have deadlines.  Last night's quickie agreement was to start the conversation at our good old friend, the irrational 9.7 mills.  We're kind of stuck on that number, even though it has no meaning.  It is, however, more than 10% higher than the "rollback" property tax of 8.8 mills, so agreeing to it might require the assent of at least four Commissioners, instead of the usual simple majority.

Oh, the yard trash.  Man, did that topic eat up time.  And here was the big issue:  WastePro comes here to collect yard trash on Mondays.  They take whatever is there, unless the pile is more than an estimated two cubic yards.  In that case, they alert the Village Administration, which warns (or something) the homeowner, and WastePro comes back on Wednesday to collect those larger piles, which results in an extra charge to the homeowner.

A very bad construction was made of this phenomenon in last night's meeting.  These larger loads were described as "illegal," "violations," evidence of "non-compliance," and other similar histrionic characterizations.  They are nothing of the sort.  They are, as they were occasionally described, "oversized" loads, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with them.  If anything, they are the results of more ambitious yard maintenance.  What a wonderful thing!  And the extra charge is for the extra work, not as some sort of punishment to the ambitious and tidy homeowner.

The fact is, we and WastePro set a fee for predictable yearly service.  This fee includes two weekly garbage collections (Tuesday and Friday), one recycling collection (Friday), and one yard trash collection (Monday).  We did not set an amount of garbage or recycling that would be the prepaid maximum, but we did set an amount of yard trash that would be prepaid.  We are welcome to put out as much yard trash as we like, but anything over two cubic yards per week is not prepaid.  We pay for the overage additionally and in arrears.

Not only did this matter get way too much chatter, and not only were the results of more ambitious landscaping somehow characterized as misbehavior, but somehow (I'm still  not clear how), some on the Commission wanted to blame WastePro for something to do with the piles of yard trash, and for the profusion of waste containers that are visible in the Village for too many days.  It was a little nuts, frankly.  It's a very good thing when Village residents do big landscape clean-ups and projects.  It results in a lot of debris?  Yeah, so?  And it took too long (although not as long as under the prior Commission) for Commissioners to suggest simply that WastePro just pick up the debris on Monday, take a photograph, in case anyone disputes, and have the Village charge the resident.  What on earth is the big deal?  And why this preoccupation with blaming, accusing, and wanting to punish?

The other side issue (more or less a complaint, or at least a matter of possibly manufactured concern) was that it's much, much easier to dispose of large piles of landscape debris with a power scooper than by hand.  Some people spoke as if they thought it would be a bad thing to have one available as part of the collection effort.  But again, what's the big deal?  What's wrong with power scoopers (the things with the big claw, that grabs up a large pile of something, and dumps it in a truck)?  They would be used to collect only the large piles, so they wouldn't slow anything down, and they wouldn't leave scars on everyone's driveways and swales.

Speaking of which (slowing things down), there are still (more than able-bodied) Village residents complaining that they don't want to bring their refuse out to the curb.  They want side yard pick-up.  Some Village residents who want, and get, side yard pick-up are too busy to bring out their own refuse, in part because they're at the gym.  You need exercise?  Um...

The time we wasted on that issue.  More than one person summarized this exchange as our having beaten up Kenny Rivera of WastePro.  The way he scurried out of there when the matter was finally over suggested he felt that way, too.

And on the Eighth Day... (Part 2)

I sat through almost four hours of this meeting.  Shortly after about half the agenda got postponed, because the time was gone, I left.  So if I can have invested that much time (three hours, 45 minutes) sitting there, you can spend a few more minutes reading about it.

On the eighth day, "god" considered all he had done the week before, decided it wasn't what he wanted it to be, and created Donald Trump and Tracy Truppman (what a cheap give-away that he used such similar names).  He respun the universe, so it would revolve around them, told the kids to "make it work" (oh, that's who Tim Gunn really is), and retired.

In the public comment portion of last night's meeting, I made what was probably a bit of a wisecrack.  (Who, me?  I know!)  I was thinking about Tracy's item 12.a, which I (mis)interpreted as a wish for more and better communication from non-Commission Village residents to the ruler(s).  I pointed out to Tracy and the bobbleheads that they get plenty of very clear communication from their neighbors.  Then, they ignore it, tell their neighbors to drop dead, and do whatever they want.  So I asked for an explanation as to what Tracy and the bobbs thought they wanted.  But I now think I was wrong.  I don't think Trace and the kids wanted to hear anything more from their neighbors.  I think they wanted a better mechanism for their neighbors to hear from them.  I guess they think that when they tell their neighbors that the neighbors' opinions don't count for anything, the neighbors would like that message to be easier to understand.  TT, et al, shouldn't worry.  We got it.

Agenda item 11.a was the trash.  Item 11.b was a proposed driveway and swale Ordinance.  And item 11.b.1 was Tracy's personal reworking of the driveway and swale Ordinance.  Tracy swept 11.b off the table.  It wasn't hers, and she had no use for it.  Whose was it, Ross's or someone's?  Yeah, well Ross don't matter.  Only Tracy matters.  And she gave us all a nice dose of it.

Tracy launched into an encompassing (and monopolizing) exposition of her driveway and swale Ordinance.  But as humble as Tracy is, she reassured us she's not "married to the language; [she's] just married to the concepts."  Hey, you give Tracy exactly what she wants, and you can call it anything you like.  So Tracy walked us through the magnificence that is her Ordinance.  And don't be concerned that she ignored the Ordinance that was sent to the Commission by the Code Review Board.  Tracy researched this matter herself.  She drove around.  She made phone calls.  Even to municipalities in Canada.  Stones left unturned by our Tracy?  No, I wouldn't think so.  And if anyone was still unconvinced, Tracy threw in some engineering terms.  Case closed, I would think.

At one point in Tracy's verbal odyssey, Roxy Ross was trying to say something, and she reminded the group that she's the "fifth Commissioner."  Really?  We have five?  We don't need five.  We have four who always vote together (the heads always bobble in unison).  But we really only need three, as Tracy pointed out on one occasion.  She and her two pet boys agreed on something.  I don't remember what it was.  Roxy Ross interrupted the steamrolling to register her disagreement.  Tracy told her it didn't matter, because she and the lads already comprised a majority.  She didn't even bother to ask what Jenny thought, because that was irrelevant, too.  It was sad, possibly even pathetic, to see Roxy having to remind the group that she's the fifth Commissioner.  She exists, too, she tried to imply.  Not for them, she doesn't.  And really, not for anything.  What's the difference between 5-0 and 4-1?

Funny enough, Tracy told us when she ascended to the throne that she was going to streamline meetings.  Starting when?  So far, they take much longer than is necessary, and much longer than they used to, because Tracy can't get enough of herself.  She did make one interesting revelation last night, though.  She figured out that now, having come to learn more about the issue, it turned out not everyone was going to be pleased.  Some would be, and others would not.  Amazing insight, Tracy.  Maybe you should have listened more when others with actual experience tried to tell you that.

Well, the question I asked-- why does Tracy want improved communication-- was in response to item 12.a,  We never got near concluding the 11 section of the Agenda.  So when it got late enough, and I'd stayed awake and listened long enough, I left.  Honestly, I wasn't expecting an answer anyway.  Of course, I wasn't expecting the nonsense spewed in this long meeting, either, so who knows?